Good. Now why are you paying his cel phone and insurance? You've mentioned that at least a few times, it sure you're harboring some resentment over it. So tell him you are going to quit paying his bills by "X" date and he needs to get that stuff transferred to his own accounts.
I know the pettiness drives you crazy, but you've got to learn to let it roll off of you. Find your zen place!
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My mom suggested not having him in the house. There will be plenty to do in the garage and attic. My mom actually suggested I just bag his stuff and move out stuff myself and tell him a time to pick up and then he isn't in the house/garage at all.
That probably is the smart move. But, then he doesn't SEE me at all. So waffling on that.
It's only been 3 weeks, that's a blip on the timeline. I'm sure it seems like forever to you, but it's not long enough for him to look at you differently, or see you in a new light, or feel fondness for you again. Far too soon. So have ZERO expectations of any of that.
Your mom is right, you should pack up his stuff and put it in the garage or wherever for him to pick up. Don't be mean and throw it out on the lawn, be polite about it. But be firm. Send him a message that you're not Plan B, that your home is no longer his, that he is no longer welcome to come and go as he pleases, that you want your privacy and he needs to respect that. All of that will wake him up to the fact that he could lose you, that you may not be the safety net he thinks. Right now you have no value to him. Start setting these boundaries and he will start to see your value.
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But he hasn't talked about taking the dog in awhile. That's why I left the pet store stuff open ended - to see if he is "paying" for the puppy or he expects me too.
I said before that you need to give him an ultimatum on the dog. Take it or it goes to the shelter. I think your response was that you've bonded with the dog and want to keep it. I highly suggest you get the dog figured out now. If you want to keep it then tell him so, if you don't then tell him he needs to make arrangements to take it. You don't want to be his permanent dogsitter.
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He has never used the dog as a reach out to make any contact AT ALL. He has never asked to come take the dog for awhile or walk the dog. If the dog stays he wouldn't use it as a reason to reach out if he hasn't already???
A lot of WAS's just love to dump all the responsibilities of pets on their spouse and then just drop by now and then to play with the pets. All the fun with none of the responsibility. It also gives them a chance to check the LBS's place for signs of OP. Maybe your H isn't like that. I would still clarify who gets the dog though.
