The pull away periods are definitely the hardest, and most frustrating. It helps to remember that they are super confused and incapable of making a decision either way, really - otherwise you wouldn't be where you are at. You've done a good job on giving him space. What they do say is true - you'll know when he wants to come back. My H made it clear and still has been actively making that clear on a daily basis. It's helped me feel very secure. He's definitely listened and done 180s of his own consistently.
That MC definitely did make things harder, partially due to his tone of like "get over it" almost? Also, I'd made it clear that I wasn't 100% sure what I wanted to do either; did I want to stand for someone who would just cut and run basically? I don't regret going to MC, but don't think it really helped a ton. It gave me a space to voice some self introspection I'd done, but my H was also willing to listen to what I had to say generally even outside of MC.
