Originally Posted by job
Your membership card is tied to his charge card...time to be proactive and contact that company and change your card number to the one that is in your name only. If you don't have a card in your name only, apply for one this week.


Already done. The credit card is the main one that was used for EVERYTHING and I paid it off every month. There will probably be something else that will pop up along the way as well. It wasn't a conscious thing - I think deep down he knows that.

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Yes, they actually do get uptight when they see charges on their card and yes, they want every penny that is charged whether it is 1 dollar or 15. Money is very important to them and once they've set their mind that they want out...it gets worse because they do not want to be responsible for anything that belongs to us. So, yes, I can see him getting a little bent out of shape over the 15 dollars. BTW, to him it wasn't dumb to ask about the charges.


I do get that. And, it was funny when he started realizing the charges were actually his. He is still accessing my Amazon prime benefits that I pay for and accessing the Netflix I pay for. I've been paying his cell phone and insurance. But, I get it ---- HE WANTS OUT. He stated such in a text. He wants to erase me from existence and since we have no shared children he can.

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You really do need to keep the focus on you. Yes, he will notice everything, but may not say anything about it. Are you going to have someone there w/you when he comes over? The reason that I ask is that you two tend to get into heated discussion over finances and this is one time you don't want to do it. Refer him to your lawyer and walk away from him, change the subject or go into another room, but don't discuss taking the lock down off of that account.


I hope he does. I just got a compliment today on my weight loss. Of course during these hard times my hair is a hot mess --- definitely need a color boost and trim.

I for see him not even making eye contact with me.

My mom suggested not having him in the house. There will be plenty to do in the garage and attic. My mom actually suggested I just bag his stuff and move out stuff myself and tell him a time to pick up and then he isn't in the house/garage at all.

That probably is the smart move. But, then he doesn't SEE me at all. So waffling on that.

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Don't hold your breath about him taking the puppy w/him. Many of them do not want that responsibility and will leave the animals w/the spouse and use that as an excuse to come see them.


He can't take the dog yet - he has no place to live. He is just pulling out stuff from the house to move into storage.

But he hasn't talked about taking the dog in awhile. That's why I left the pet store stuff open ended - to see if he is "paying" for the puppy or he expects me too.

He has never used the dog as a reach out to make any contact AT ALL. He has never asked to come take the dog for awhile or walk the dog. If the dog stays he wouldn't use it as a reason to reach out if he hasn't already???

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Keep the focus on you, have your house in good shape, dress nicely, perfume on and have something baking in the oven that will provide a nice, warm smell in the home. You want him to leave w/positive thoughts of the home he is running away from. You don't want him to leave w/a lot of negative thoughts and run right to the ow who will stroke his ego and tell him what he wants to hear.


That fear almost paralyzes me... what he complains about me to her. Clearly before the PA he was sharing his thoughts and issues with our M. He said so clearly "she was there for him"... I didn't know what to say. I wish I had been there for him. I wish he would have never given up on me. I wish he had not gotten so burnt out.

I have to keep it good. He has to leave saying that was unexpected... hopefully leaving him confused but that of course is having expectations of which I can have none.