Whats New Today?

[CanBird]

Thank you all for the previous posts..


~j~Alive and 5-10lbs heavier for sure. I've got to curve that. Pun intended? Maybe. Trying my best to GAL, work on a routine for D3 and I and stick to it.

During this Ld (Lockdown), It remains hard to distance from 00. He on the otherhand is an expert. D3 is the one that suffers. From my point of view it seems sad, his phone gets more attention, even If she's directly in front of him, trying to engage with him. Maybe she doesnt see what I see. I have to bite my tounge often to stop myself from saying, "put your phone down & look at her". I dont say anything. Its hard to watch. I sometime wonder if he does this partly to make me angry, as he knows it bugs me? Or has it become his lifeline, a security blanket of sorts. I know; STOP WONDERING!! He can be a good dad when he wants, when he surrenders. And he seems to enjoy it. I know D3 does.

We had a bit of a flirt in the kitchen. I'm sharing this because it happened. I tried all day long to not be in the same area as him, but it's a small place and at times we just have to coexist. We dont generally eat together, but he continues to cook for us. This his is normal provider mood. This time I really complemented him on it. I did the opposite of what I did for his last meal (I said nothing & ate nothing).
At somepoint he was talking about.. I dont know what (vitamins?) I acted REALLY interested, staring deep his eyes like he was the smartest guy on the planet..and we giggled about something, I gave him a jokingly kick in the butt, he laughed. Our old banter it seemed. It was nice to be normal if even gor a few minutes. This ignoring him that I have been doing is over the top & silly. Just be me in my house.

I'm probably not alone in feeling this is ground-hog day. Referencing the movie of course. A lot is the same, day in, day out during Ld. We do follow whatever 00 says is the latest advice. He's obsesed; rightly so. I nod my head & agree. I'll figure things out while he's gone. I've been doing it for years.

We've had a lot of rain this past few hours. Monsoon type; a cleansing. What will tomorrw bring? Who knows. The beautiful love from my child is always within arms reach. And that I look forward too.