Eldest has been very difficult the past couple of days - Youngest too, actually. They are both finding this very hard, and I am finding it hard to get a balance between supporting their home learning and also getting my own work done. Youngest is not so young that she can't be left alone to entertain herself for a couple of hours, but seems to choose those times to deliberately get into trouble / make a mess / aggravate Eldest...
Eldest spent two days in the same nightwear, wouldn't wash, wouldn't do anything except stare at a screen or growl aggressively and belligerently at any interruption. Sometimes I find him very hard to like. I try to leave him alone, then really worry about his mental health (it can't be healthy to stay indoors in the dark with a screen for hours and hours on end) and his education. I know I will drive myself crazy if I don't find a way to let some of this go - you sound like you do a better job of that than I do, Dilly. I really lost my temper with Eldest this morning and said some unpleasant things (about him being lazy and in need of a shower...) so there needs to be some repairing done later but I can't bring myself right now.
H is okay - working hard, probably drinking a bit more than I'd like but he's either at work or dealing with a stressed wife or sleeping, so nobody is at their best right now. He's being very supportive of me and respectful of the pressures I am under, even though he's the frontline NHS person in the household. I do appreciate that and I feel closer to him this last week than I have done in some time, even though I'm seeing him much less than usual.
I miss things. Miss my hairdresser and coffeeshops and my friends. I came to rely on my friends a lot after BD and during separation - and that was new and so valuable to me that I didn't let it slide even when H came back. And now here we are in the house together and I can Skype and Zoom and I am doing, but I don't want more screen time after a day trying to keep up with my work via the screens - so he's pretty much my entire social life, which puts pressure on him that is unnecessary, and is no good for me as an individual or our marriage.
I think what I am asking for - in amongst the pity-party - is suggestions about how to GAL in lockdown...
