Hi all, I just need some advice on what others would do. I know I need to decide this for myself, but it's tough. You can see through my thread at one point I still love my wife, and then at the next point I am pushing her to finish this divorce.
So I heard through grapevine that she was still seeing the OM, but things weren't going very well anymore. I will say hearing that gave me hope that maybe she was going to reach out to me. That hope weakened my thoughts of wanting to push this divorce, so perhaps I'm not as ready as I thought? Well it's been a week since hearing that "news" and I found out she still saw the other man again.
I went back through my previous posts, and one thing I didn't mention is back when I was pushing her, the last thing she said was she was getting a lawyer, and to no longer speak to her directly. It's now been over 6 weeks and I have had zero communication with her.
I'm just so conflicted, frustrated, etc. Part of me just wants this to be done, and I want her to do the work to get it done. I just feel so disrespected that she has now left me in the dark for 6 weeks wondering what her next step is going to be. Part of me wishes I could just have my wife back and we could work on this marriage. Do I give up that chance because she turned into this other person, at some point she will realize she isn't happy, but will it be enough for her to change, or will she just look to the next person to try and fulfill her happiness? Also does it make me less of a man to take someone back that has disrespected me so much? I struggle with that feeling a lot too.
Then I struggle with hiring a lawyer, I'll be honest, I'm cheap and I don't want to spend the money. I find it just wasteful because we already had agreed to everything and our state makes it quite easy to file an uncontested divorce, especially with no children involved. So I struggle with another choice, do I just go ahead and hire a lawyer so that she can see how serious this and we finally get some closure, or do I try just reaching out to her directly once more to see where she is at?
Or do I just continue to try to be patient, because obviously I don't really want this divorce, but I want this pain to be over so I can move on.
Anyway, I know at the end of the day I need to make all these decisions for myself, but I would certainly appreciate any advice!
