First off to me there is a difference between being sorry and showing remorse. I think the majority of WWs are sorry that this is happening. I think very little show remorse until way down the road when they understand the damage that was done.
As for the letter this is what I read:
I’m truly sorry for the hurt I caused you. I was not perfect in the relationship and made mistakes. I was not happy in the marriage but I never voiced my unhappiness. I should of communicated better but instead I sought happiness with another man. How dare you not support me when I am having an affair with another man.
I know you are upset about your grandmother and I love you but I’m not in love with you so I’m not ending things with the om right now.
I want to come over and eat some cake and while doing so I will even cut your hair for you. It’s not you it’s me that’s the problem.
I built up anger and resentment over the years from all the things you did wrong in the relationship. I need time and space to see if the new guy is long term relationship material but I’m not asking you to be plan B. Though your actions dictate that you are willing to be plan B.
The changes that you are making are great but sorry it’s too little to late right now. I wish I could undo what I did but since I can’t I’m just going to see where this goes with OM. I’m sad sometimes for breaking up the family but everyone will get over it.
I’m going to counseling and I know I need to try harder because marriage is hard but I really don’t feel like it so I’m gonna see where things go with om. I’m sick of fighting and arguing because you won’t see things my way and you don’t understand me.
I know you don’t owe me anything but I’m really hoping you wait around until I see if it works out with OM.
My response would be:
Thank you for the email. I really have some thinking to do.
