Like Sting suggested, do not dump on him and do not talk about the R. The most important thing for your h to work on is him and sometimes the best way to help him is to share the salvation when he asks you questions.
It is so hard to explain what I'm trying to say. It sounds like I'm trying to tell you to make decisions for him and to talk all this relationship talk and I'm not. I don't even know how to put into words what it is. I wish I could explain it, but I can't.
It is not coming out right at all. Yes, Sting is right that people do blame God and they get all in a fuss about things, but that is not what I'm seeing and that is not what I'm trying to explain to you. I'm not trying to tell you to give him the answer and I'm not trying to tell you to push things on him because I don't want you pushing him into the arms of someone else or anything like that.
I guess, my best suggestion for you is to take this to the Lord and have him tell you exactly what it is you need to do or say at certain times when your husband is searching for answers. Ask him to give you what it is that he wants you to say at that moment if anything.
This is not coming across the way that I'm meaning it to come across. Maybe using the example I used was the wrong one to use, but I can't seem to get this one across in the right manner.
Let's see if I can get it across with this example. Lets say you are going through something that you need to find the answers to. You don't want a bunch of pressure on you and you don't want someone telling you what you should or shouldn't be doing, but you want some sort of direction. You are reading information about it, you are looking at yourself, you are looking at others, but you just can't seem to put your finger on it.
So you go and talk to someone. You don't want to have them preaching at you, but just like Betsey does, she asks certain questions that will get your mind going a little deeper. They are not pressure questions, they are not relationship questions, but they are thought provoking questions. They are ones that make you think about different avenues that you could take instead of the one that you are on.
I understand about all this non relationship talk and not putting the pressure on them and all this other stuff. I get all that, but sometimes they do come to you needing some kind of guidance without you wanting something from them in return.
I know in my head what I'm trying to say, but it is not coming out the way that I'm thinking it. I do see your husband looking for answers and in certain ways asking you for guidance, but like Sting and them have said, you can not make the choices for him and you can not just out right give him the answer.
But you also can not blow him off at certain times because that can do the same damage. Just like someone who is on drugs, they need to be the one that makes the choice to fix themselves, but they also need people there who love them enough to show them that love and to help guide them with words of encouragement. They do not make the choices for the drug addicts or anything like that, but they do let them know that they are cared about and that someone is in their corner without pressuring them.
This is kind of how I see your husband. He is making statements and doing things that are crying out for someone to show they care without controlling him. Without making the decisions for him and without putting pressure on him. He is putting enough pressure on himself. So I hope this made a little more sense and if it didn't, I'm sorry to have confused you more.
This took me a long time to learn myself and I still can't explain it right, but I know what I mean. So please do not interpret this as I'm telling you to talk to him about your relationship or pressure him about the Lord.
