Finding patience and facing fear

[Kindly]

Thx peace, Job and B2-

and yes His MLC is not your emergency
if he has to leave the home let him
Im not sure if you can keep the house, or if you have kids?

No kids...just H and I...I’m hoping to stay put but it will truly depend on how the financial works out which he doesn’t seem to think is the first step in all of this.

If he brings it up agin...you can give him more of the same what you already said
well done

Also, I would try not to discuss the legal matters as much as possible. I would refer him back to his lawyer and let the lawyers do the work, after all, they are getting paid to do so. Try to remember, you can't have a rational conversation w/someone who is emotional and bouncing off the walls. The more you attempt to explain things, the more he will become angry and irritated. Best to keep conversations short and to the point...as their emotions are all over the place.

Thank you both...so bang on accurate...I feel confident finally in my new line “ya I’m not sure ....talk to your L” or “hmm not sure have your L talk to my L”. Thank goodness I’ve read examples on here of MLC spouses trying to make “deals”. Without giving too much detail mine just offered me “extra time” to stay in our house while he uses some joint finances to leave.....ummmm no.

Gosh Job is brilliant and grounded. I am taking her words of wisdom for myself too. I hope, Kindly, that you are finding moments of peace and clarity.

Thx B6 I am. It took awhile but I’m in such a better place now. And yes, Jobs words of wisdom and calmness is really quite remarkable. I find such peace in the advice and insights offered by job and others on here...people that have been there done that and as you mentioned and that are seeing clearer than we are.

Many of them will eventually start talking and when they do, you will need to really listen, not offer up advice..,.just listen. Later, that conversation will play over in your mind and you will discover some tidbits that will help you better understand where he's coming from in his crisis. Trust me, when you sit quietly, the answers will be revealed, might not be today...but tomorrow or the next............(edit) One thing that I learned early on...you can't force the answers to come to you...they will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.

I really look forward to the day he says anything other than complain about work (pre virus) and now the virus and being “stuck” in the house. I will def have to dig deep and keep my mouth shut and ears open. I understand a little more of the sitting quietly...thx Job.

I know living w/a MLCer is difficult. I've been there and done that. It's not easy especially now that we are in a major health crisis all over the world and we are having to share space w/them or dealing w/them on a daily basis.

Truth. For me it’s the swings from almost the H I married to shark eyes! It’s really quite astonishing. I’m doing much better at not trying to figure it out but letting it play out as it will...right now it’s just the banging around and packing that’s causing me anxiety.

I am sending good thoughts into the universe and whatever power you believe in. Blessings

Thank you B6- I accept and spread my arms to share with all others (((heart)))