Moving On Over to Surviving the Big D

[HaWho]

Believe - I guess on the bright side, when we get through this we all sure do have quite a story to tell!

I am doing pretty well. So far we are healthy and ok.

On the post MLC front, things are sort of interesting. I was going to give an update.

My ex played Disney dad upon move out, due to guilt I am sure. He married his mistress a few months post divorce and so I know my kids know he was having an affair. When he moved out, I was having some behavioral issues with my older s who did not want to clean his room.

On three occasions my older s called my ex who picked him up to get out of cleaning his room! Disney dad to the rescue! I called my ex out on trying to be s’s buddy rather than a coparent and father. And I finally called my kid out of his manipulative behavior and told him parents should not be picking up kids to get out of cleaning their rooms. It was a rough couple months with my kid. My s would leave to get out of doing chores and me ex would tell me I had to apologize to s if I wanted him to come back?!?! Apologize for asking him to do chores so he can come back and live here without lifting a finger? Uh, no thanks. Never apologized and s just came home after a few days of me ignoring it all. S came to me a few months ago and apologized and said he wanted a better relationship with me! He now cleans his room when asked!

Fast forward to this week. It is my ex’s turn to have the kids for Easter and their break. I had them last year. A few days before the break I learn from my kids that ex said they were with me for Easter and the break! How can ex not remember he did not have them last year? It is an extra 11 days.

So I tell the kids they are with him. I doublecheck the schedule even though I know I had them last year. This is where it gets interesting. My older son says we don’t need to mention it to ex! He says they want to stay here. Well, well, well. Guess that Disney dad routine did not work out for him. I heard both kids quietly agree not to mention the mix up to their dad so they could stay here.

I was unsure of what to do. Should I tell ex? In the end I did nothing. It is ex’s responsibility to read the schedule and pick up his kids for his time. Part of me wonders if he really misread the schedule. Two kids in lockdown 24/7 with a new wife probably pops the romantic bubble. And his place is small. Ex would not order takeout due to pandemic so cooking will fall on his new wife who would be taxed to the max. My boys eat around the clock!

Guess it does not matter the reason. Just thankful to have the extra time with my kids. And yes, I do feel vindicated. His stupid Disney dad routine did not work. And as they get older I think they will understand more and more how nuts their dad went.

Thanks to KML who always said the kids act out on the safe parent and to wear it like a badge.

Oh, and at last drop of ex still had a decorative holiday candy cane outside his door! Maybe he does not realize it is Easter time Job!