Hitting My Stride V

[HaWho]

Kudos to you for stepping up for your girls and letting the Doc know. I am sure this is hard on all three kids. That poor boy sure has been through a lot of turmoil as well. A lot of his pillars have been removed given that he can’t see his dad nor his grandmother.

Dating post marriage with kids is hard. I don’t think the age is always the only factor. I am learning it is personalities no matter the age. I am dating a guy who is 10 years post divorce. I am the first woman he has dated seriously and introduced to his kids, now 17 and 19. He purposely did not date in order to focus on his young kids.

Going into this, I would have thought a 17 and 19 year old would be ready to see their dad date. The 17 year old and I hit it off well. We always have. He is a boy and very good natured and well adjusted. The 19 year old is a daughter who clearly is not ready to accept her dad dating anyone. She told her aunt (bf’s sister) that she did not like that I took time from their relationship even though most of the year she was at college. Now she is home due to the pandemic and it is just clear she just wants to make things hard.

When I first met her, she was telling this story of how they went through a lot of nannies because she purposely would get them all fired for reasons she made up just to see them get fired. Really awful! I was freaked out by that level of manipulation. She was 19 and still laughing about it. No remorse or introspection on the meanness in that. She is a factor in my relationship with him, for sure. The mother was a very unstable force in their lives and I feel for her because it is clear she has turmoil within her. Time will tell how much she grows up.

Anyway, these are all the reasons why it is so important not to rush into anything. The moving parts are so much more complex than a first time marriage where both people are without children. And it takes time to see all the moving parts.