Sitting here at home tonight days spent working at home and home schooling the girls. Really not much to report as there is nothing to do. I have been running in the mornings, doing push ups and sit ups, going on bike rides with the girls and trying to keep my sanity.
The Doc's son has been spending quite a bit of time with us during the week as I am home and it saves her time and money by finding someone to watch him since school is out. She also doesn't want to take him to work with her as to run risk of possible exposure. Needless to say she is stressed out to the max. So him hanging with us during the day was innocent, happened by the current situation in the world and was not done on purpose however.........
It has become very obvious to me that he has been spending too much time with me and my girls which really hit home to me last night when they had a break down. Same conversation as before with my youngest expressing she wished that the X and I would get back together again and both girls expressing frustration with the Doc's son and his behavior/attitude towards them. So I called the Doc this morning and told her that we needed to dial back on the kid interactions in general as I think it is too much too soon and the kids are feeling the effects.
It was an easy conversation to have as it is all about my daughters and how they are handling things. Simply put they are clearly not ready. She understood and knows that her son has behavior issues. He is not used to interacting with other kids, sharing, participating in the give and take, only wants things his way, doesn't know how to compromise and thinks everything that he does is the most important thing in the world. He has an out and a counter opinion to everything and just doesn't fall in line when you ask him to do something. He has to debate and offer alternatives to get what he wants and can't stand not being the center of attention or not being right. He also can't stand not being the best at something and he can't put himself in a position to lose. For example, he won't bring his bike over to ride with us because he just got his training wheels off and he doesn't want anyone to see him potentially not ride his bike well. Or the other night he didn't get to watch the movie he wanted to watch so he started crying and went up stairs leaving my girls to watch the movie by themselves. I guess very symptomatic of being an only kid. It is actually kind of annoying and he really tries my patience. Even though these are his issues or quirks, he is not a mean kid. My girls were even asking me on how to handle him, respond to him and what they could or could not say. Anyway enough is enough. Again the Doc was totally understanding. TBH her son could be overwhelmed as well.
In the little guys defense he hasn't really spent any time with his father or seen him in quite some time due to his heart and kidney transplant which I am sure has had impacts on him. He also hasn't got to see his Grandma either because she is high risk and quarantined. Now he is spending time with me and seeing me father my girls and it has to impact him in some way. It's just time to chill. Again she was totally supportive, I was very honest with her, told her everything that my girls expressed to me and she doesn't want them to feel a certain way either. I am just glad they feel comfortable coming to me and talking about it. I think I am also more aware because I am the one spending time with the kids during the day, seeing them interact. She is at work and doesn't get the same view I do.
The Doc is wound up like a clock, worried about her business, worried about her mom, worried about her son, her office is expanding, doubling in size, so her rent just increased and now in the middle of this Pandemic she is freaking out. She has now closed on Wednesday and Friday's, additionally having to let go of one of her staff. All of this and her concerns over her XH and his health, the gym is shut down so her exercising is not what it used to be so she is really a hot mess. I just listen and validate like a champ!
So we continue on however getting any time together without a kid around hasn't happened in quite some time.
The good news is that I am seeing her completely stressed out, we are past the honeymoon phase, and getting additional insight into how she behaves when all the chips are on the table. There have been times where she has been annoying, there have been times I have wanted to tell her to get a freaking grip, times where she has shut down some, etc. etc. but honestly for the most part she is a freaking rock. But she is stressed.
In some ways I am glad though because it really gives me reason to slow things down. The stuff with the kids and all the other stress in her life just makes it very clear to me. For that I am grateful.
I hope everyone is doing well, staying safe and being healthy!
