I hope I can explain what I'm seeing in the proper way.
The Lord is giving you the opportunity to witness to your husband about his love. He is going to have to find certain answers on his own, but he is putting you in the position with your husband to witness to him.
You might have to find a time where you and your husband can sit down and have a serious conversation. Not about your relationship with him, but about the relationship with the Lord.
He is so desperately looking for the love that you have found and he doesn't understand that that is what he is looking for. He is so hungry inside for this that he can hardly stand himself. He has seen you read your Bible and he doesn't understand how you can have the peace that you have with him still being involved with the OW. This is bringing on tremendous guilt. The Lord is going to use you to help to bring your husband to salvation.
You have to use the opportunity. Next time when he says something about the OW, you might say something about the fact that you don't want him to go. That you unconditionally love him because of what the Lord has done for you. That you understand what he is going through and you are sorry for what he is going through, but until he puts a stop to running to her and does what the Lord is trying to get him to do, he will never have the peace that he is looking for.
That no, it is not going to be easy for him to get over her and you understand that, but with the Lord's help he will be able to defeat the demons that are inside of him. That as long as he continues to run, he will continue to feel this way whether he stays with you or goes with her. It doesn't matter because he will not be released from this until he repents of what he has done.
That being with the OW is wrong and he knows it deep inside. That the Lord loves him no matter what he has done and so do you. That the Lord is willing to forgive him if he would only ask and that you have already forgiven him for everything that he has done to you and that he is still doing to you.
That he also needs to forgive himself, but he will not be able to do that on his own. That he is going to need the Lords help for that. That right now, he needs to concentrate on that and stop worrying about how she feels and how you feel. The marriage can not be worked on until he gets to this point. Do you understand what I mean about that?
As much as you want your marriage back together, until he is completely healed and has gotten the forgiveness that he needs, he can not concentrate on the marriage. He is trying to skip steps in order to make the pain go away and he can not do that.
On his own, he can not win this battle, but with the Lord he can do anything. As for the OW, unless she receives the same thing that you have received Cathy, she is not going to make it through this like you think she will. You made it as far as you have because you have had the Lord there to help you and to heal your heart. She is still in pain from her first husband and then went right into another relationship in order to get away from the pain. She has never healed, so therefore, she will not get through this as well as you did. She is going to fall unless someone prays for her and prays that she is given the courage to do what is right and that is to walk away from your husband.
She needs salvation as well because she is very weak. She is not strong and she is depending on people to bring her out of this, and people can not do for her what the Lord can and he is the only one who can.
He may not understand what you are talking about at first, but you have planted the seed and the Lord can do the rest from there. You do not have to do this for the Lord, but you can and should plant the seed. It is kind of like what you are going through. No one has to give you the answer, but if they can direct you or plant a seed, the Lord can go from there. You have a direction.
I hope that I just made sense with what I just said. That is what I see through the things that you have written so far. I see a very hurt man that needs the Lord. I see a man that keeps running in circles because he can't seem to find the right direction to go in. Yes, he is confused but when I get confused like that and someone can give me some information that starts to get rid of the confusion for me, that is such a relief. I may not always get what they are saying at first and sometimes I may even get upset with what they have said, but it gives me information to think about. It gives the Lord something to work with as well.
He can start opening it up for me a piece at a time until it all comes together. There is such relief after that happens. The Lord has given you much knowledge and now is your time to share it with your husband.
