But how can I really focus on what makes me happy when I am so worried about losing my family? A friend of mine says I need to cut the spiritual chord so I can swim before I drown. Maybe that's what detachment is? But how?
Worry is like praying for something you don’t want.
Letting go of doubt, worry, and fear is a process and takes time.
For what it’s worth, detachment, in this situation, is uncoupling your emotions from H’s emotional state and his behaviour. You still feel, you just don’t get uncontrollably dragged around.
Indifference is when your emotions, regarding H and his antics, are greatly attenuated. You feel a numbness, a void, towards him. The pain and anxiety are much reduced. Indifference is a bit strange at first.
I don’t agree, nor advocate, cutting the spiritual cord. That thread of faith doesn’t drowned us, it lifts. And we do learn to swim these turbulent waters.
On the spiritual path of your PIES, I found this helpful in detaching, finding indifference, and letting go, while still being compassionate. There is no need to pray repeatedly. God knows what you desire, knows your deepest desires.
Prayers evolve as one progresses. In my bargaining stage my prayers were self driven. Were for reconciliation. I promised stuff, if only He’d just make her come back.
I no longer pray for reconciliation. God knows my desires, and He doesn’t need me reminding Him. My prayers are for others, to bless and watch over - that kind of thing. Yes I include specifics, but God hardly needs them.
About the only prayer I ask for myself is guidance to continue to become who I am supposed to be. To grow and live in the light.
Cutting the cord is not the same as Give it to God.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
