You come across as being a spiritual, compassionate person. Let me share three things that have helped me.
First, as I told her nephew (who told me he prays for our reconciliation), “I would much rather you pray for her reconciliation with her version of God. Everything follows from that.” Whatever label one uses (MLC, WAW), I believe my wife is on an existential journey to discover the best version of herself. Wherever this leads her, I pray for the success of that journey, regardless of my own needs. For me, this is the essence of love.
Second, as I told a mutual friend (who is a priest), “You and I believe there is an entity that loves her more than either of us can. We can only entrust her journey to that entity.” (See my definition of entity below.)
Third, my own journey is very much one of learning to trust God, whom I think of in metaphorical terms. For me, God is my abbreviated term to refer to the authentic, best version of each of us. In a sense, when I say, trust God, I mean trust my future self. I trust myself to have the strength and compassion to lovingly support her, even as I give her as much space and freedom as she needs. But I realize as well that to be in this position is to be in pain. Detachment does not mean absence of pain. As I’m sure you know, to love is to risk pain. According to Christian lore, two millennia ago next week, a man died a cruel death proving just that.
