WW Patience, Limbo amd Fear

[Core]

I see what you mean Wayfarer. Can I deal with with it going forward... I'm not sure. If she's my Ex and not in my face daily, sure. The fact now is, with how she acts and her lack of a job, no intimacy, she basically is acting like a child that I have to provide for. Who mooches off my labor. After several weeks stuck at home now and me doing stay at home dad stuff for a few weeks previously...she has it so easy watching the kids, watching TV, doing her hobbies, while I grind away at a job thats probably gone in three weeks.

I dont know if this counts as an in home separation or what. If it is, articles on the net and what Sandi says scares me, that theyve yet to see a successful in home separation. Is that what I'm doing now, or does that mean official separation where you date others? Should I get file the separation or D?

What doesnt work is living under the same roof. The only thing that worked thus far is when I told her we will separate our time with the kids. I got great advice her and it flipped her switch. Thats when she dropped OM and came back to the marriage for two days. OM is still gone but we are not bonding. We avoid each other, interactions are mostly neutral. Would a separation help here? A real separation would force her to get a job, a house and impact my kids, sending them to daycare. Other than that, I think confronting the affair, and kicking W out of the bedroom helped.

No other actions seemed to have an affect either way. I'm out of cards, I think all thats left is to truly walk away with a separation or D. If in home separation never work and what I'm doing counts as one, then I just wasted 9 months.

Am I doing the right thing? Currently we interact many times in the day, we eat dinner as a family and occasionally do a family movie night. If I'm playing with the kids in one room, she sometimes will come and sit next to me which is uncomfortable. We plan out grocery shopping together and anything for the kids. I help bring groceries in. She folds my laundry. GAL slowed down with quarantine and I missed my kids. The stuff I just stated, I probably need to stop, right? But then Im just a slug, hiding in a room away from the kids. I hate this. It disgusts me that we are still in this situation.

Im continuing to read and exercise, picked up a new game. I think I'm doing most of this right, except I should've forced the separation when W asked for space.