Neither do I understand why you would tell her to go to IC for the daughter.
You are right. I shouldn't put my D in the middle of it. It was a statement that my IC and I came up with because he knows my W well and after explaining some of the scenarios that have played out, he is concerned for my W's mental stability. He has stressed to her (when we were in MC) the importance of her going to IC due to her traumatized childhood (her mother cheated and drank excessively and essentially abandoned her...probably why she is who she is today). So after talking with him yesterday, he continued to stress that importance. He said that she is going to break if she doesn't deal with everything and just continues to brush it under the rug. He said she should do it for her D if nothing else so she can parent in an appropriate way.
So even though I can't control her, I said what I said. And after saying it, my W texted me saying "she has emailed her IC to set up a FaceTime appointment (not allowed face to face with the Coronavirus). She was going to IC for the first two weeks after BD, bit as some have pointed out, she probably was challenged by her IC so she quit going. regardless of what happens to us, she needs to be a good mother and not choose booze and bars over her kid like she has previously done. She loves her D, but she certainly hasn't shown that the last year lying to her face about going to IC when in fact she was going to see the OM. That is what bothers me the most, lying to a 3-year-old every week when my D would ask where she was going and she said to an appointment (IC). She wasn't.
One last question: when I post about S/D, or anyone else does for that matter, why do so many say to do it? Isn't this site about divorce busting and not divorce initiation? I am 2 months in and people say to D. Isn't that the opposite of what MWD says? I realize it is my journey, my choice. But it seems counter-intuitive to support divorce so much on a divorce busting site. I can already hear all the boos.
