52!! and loving it. It's so nice to be relaxed around any age group. Last summer I'd do Happy hour on a regular basis with a 26 year old friend (she's very attractive). She loved to go cause I could talk to anybody!! Though, I was clueless to being hit on. I think that was very entertaining for her to watch.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
Pattie!! Me too!! Makes me wonder how I ended up with H. I met H while walking into my office building one day, he was in the tower crane and his radio guy on the ground stopped me and asked me if I'd like to meet the guy in the crane after work for a drink?! I looked up and said "the guy up there? What does he look like? and then said I'd get back to him later in the day...the rest is history my friends.
I was updating yesterday while H was gone, H came home so had to stop. Weekend was good, I'm posting through Saturday night and then will do yesterday.
I'm looking more at the positive as the negatives (alcohol/OW) are one and the same I've decided.
H was a noshow Friday night. He was rained out at work along with everybody else and they all headed to the bar to drink…all day. And of course H ended up at OW’s..surprise, surprise...they go hand in hand.
He showed up here mid-morning yesterday. Headed directly to the bathroom and then after that came into the bedroom where I was and promptly asked “did you miss me” and then “no.” I said yes I missed you but it really doesn’t matter, there’s nothing I can do about it. Maybe I should have been more honest and said “no” as I really didn’t miss him.
He helped move the mattress on the bed, we turned it and while it was up I vacuumed. A friend of ours had a baby and I said I was going to drop the gift off. H told me that he was with friend’s H about half the day yesterday..drinking. Said he didn’t want to go with me, but he did go with me and S. Went to eat first and then visit. Wanted to stop at the grocery story but H insisted I go home as his stomach was acting up.
H said he’d go see Shrek II with S and me. Well after we bought the tickets H tells me to take him home, his stomach is still acting up and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sit through the movie. We tried to shop for a little bit since the movie was sold out when we got there and we had to buy tickets for the next show and it was after they had been bought that H said he wasn’t going.
I was a tad upset…thinking you can drink all day, spend night at OW’s but when it’s time to do a family thing..you’re sick and it’s because of the day before drinking. H thinks it was the “taco bell” lunch he is so clueless, it’s from his drinking but he refuses to acknowledge it!! I did pray that he would get sick from drinking..so maybe the good Lord heard me.
Took H home and was on the way back and he calls me from the bathroom to let me know it was a good thing he didn’t go…I won’t share details. S and I had a FABULOUS time at the movie and it was very entertaining.
Came home had dinner, our cable was out all day, it’s been raining, storming since Friday. H then asked if I was going to sleep downstairs. I said I can do that, you sleep up here…didn’t want to be awake all night with the lightning and storm.
H then said are we all going to sleep downstairs? I said we can all sleep up here? H goes into the bedroom, and I come and asked if he was sleeping up here. H said I’m going to OW (except he uses the name of the town)! I said “then go, I want you here, but you obviously don’t want to be here. He looked shocked and didn’t’ say a word. Oh and then earlier in the day he said “what don’t one of you give in” to which I said “I’m not doing anything” meaning I’m not doing anything to keep you here. I don’t think he interpreted it that way though and then said I “should divorce him” I said go ahead.
I watched the Last Samuri on Saturday..awesome movie. I usually don't like violent movies (turned the sound off/hid behind a pillow during fighting). Even my H asked me why I was watching it. It wasn't the violence it was the Samuri's way of life, their culture that was so fascinating to me. That they prefer death to shame...well you can imagine what went through my mind. When they are defeated..death. I was really moved by that movie in ways that I can't put into words. It really has me thinking.
What an infamous statement!!! I've heard a similar one. It's like they are blaming ow and you for H being in the situation. I think you handled it very well.
You are so right Cathy, you aren't doing anything to make him stay. You can't tie him to the house. There's a reason he comes back, he just needs to figure it out.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
You're right there is a cycle, but I think it's slowly changing, slowwwwllllyyyy.
And, I was thinking the exact same thing about the responses to my H's same old "words." Any suggestions?
Yesterday S and H went fishing in the morning, I went grocery shopping and to Wal-mart. I like taking my S with me grocery shoppping, etc., but to not have him with me is a real treat. It felt sooo good.
SS stopped over and made the comment "I hope I don't have stomach problems like Dad" I said YOU know what they're from don't you? SS said yeah, drinking. H wanted to make sure I knew how much he had to drink on Friday and also told his S20..which is a first.
Yesterday H was like a caged lion. At one point in the afternoon, told me he was leaving, couldn't take it anymore, to go drink or whatever, I said "bye". H then went downstairs to watch TV--our cable was out since Friday night and came back on early afternoon yesterday.
Came back up a little later, said "you can buy us hamburgers before the storm hits again" and then sat in the living room to watch TV. I started to make supper as I had taken food out and H asked me if we were going for hamburgers and I said "don't have any cash" and was going to make chicken, H said okay let's have that. After we ate dinner, H put on his shoes, his hat and grabbed his keys and said "bye" and I said "bye" Of course, our S thought he was going to go with and said to his Dad "I'll just jump in the truck" and went outside with him. When I didn't hear the truck start looked out the garage and H was standing at the back of his truck and S was riding his bike, next thing I know H is out raking the gravel out of our lawn from the storm.
We had horrendous weather this weekend and after tornado warning was over last night which wasn't too far from our house, H said let's go look and and then you can buy me ice cream. I said I just bought five gallons today.
S went to bed early and so I thought H and I could fool around a little. Stared to approach H, he kind of pushed me away and said "I'm going to bed" and I said okay.
Five minutes later I hear from downstairs "I need a back scratch" so I went down scratched his back and bleep, bleep, and he said "that's not my back" so I quit and then, well...
I was on my way back upstairs, said goodnight to H and H says "you mean just like that" and I said you're invited up here whenever you want to come.
I got up when he got up this morning, met him the bathroom he asked me what I was doing up so early, I gave him a kiss and a hug and got ready to get on my treadmill.
There were more positives this weekend then there were negatives and actually for the last couple of weeks. I'm going to start focussing on the positives rather than what H is doing wrong.
Quote: We had horrendous weather this weekend and after tornado warning was over last night which wasn't too far from our house, H said
I was thinking about you this weekend and wondering if you were anywhere near the tornado. I am glad tha you are all ok and it was nothing more than awful weather.
Quote: You're right there is a cycle, but I think it's slowly changing, slowwwwllllyyyy.
I agree...and I think you are doing so well with his comments!
I was thinking about you again last night and this am when I was starting to get irritated by H and take things personally. I need to stop. I want to be like you...cool, calm and confident.
Take care and hang in there. I think you are SO on your way!!!
Well, I was thinking of not posting today. Last night was more of the same from H so I'm sure everyone is getting tired of it or maybe it's just me.
The famous "I'm going to OW's tonight" line was spoken!! I said "well go then" and left it at that. It was the usual button pushing night.
I notice there is anger in my H, it's more directed at our S right now. I don't let H get to me like I used to, he just can't get a rise out of me, but of course litte guy is NOT afraid of his dad. The things S does are typical boy things, but H's temper rises.
H is also good about making sure I do things, actually hounds me to the point where I just say "yes I did that" to get him off my back. It's things that he could actually do himself. We have a shared well and our neighbors aren't very prompt in paying us for electric. So it's on me to get them the notice and every day he asks "did you do it yet" and last night he asked, again..and I said "yep" the thing is I usually laugh or something and give myself away. To me it's not that important, something that has to be done instantly. I procrastinate a lot, but I do get things done in my own time. AND, everything works out in the end.
Tonight I'm going to a wedding show for a 60 year old woman who has been leaving with her fiance for 20+ years. She's not a close friend, but in a group of woman I get to gether with three or four times a year. Our little group was formed years ago when we all worked together, some were added later on, but we still keep in touch and gather. We have a hoot of a time when we gather. The topics range from our president, religion all the way to bar style humor, keeping in mind some of these woman are highly educated..which when I think about it...doesn't really matter does it? They are all very down to earth people.
The invitation to the shower very specifically states that the "usual" behavior would not be tolerated. The poor woman who's hosting thinks she has control over this...yeah right...we laugh till we cry.
and then said I'd get back to him later in the day...the rest is history my friends.
When they are defeated..death. I was really moved by that movie in ways that I can't put into words. It really has me thinking.
