New to the club

[Taz]

Well today marks 6 months since BD, the day I returned home from a weekend fishing trip to a half empty house. I’m getting along fairly well and have S20 and S19 here at home with me doing their elearning as the universities sent them home. Being a single parent is tough my hats off to those who have been doing it much longer and with younger more dependent children than what I have.

W has been fairly silent and I don’t contact her unless she initializes it. Last month I let her drop her cat off here for 5 days while she went on a Caribbean trip with her girl friends. A couple weekends ago she dropped her car off here at the house and had me look at a few issues. ( I know cake eating, but I offered and I enjoy working on cars). The day she dropped it off was my birthday. She didn’t mention it at the time but did when she thanked me later.

The virus has her working from her apartment and her circuit of fun activities are derailed for the meantime. Must be tough hanging out by yourself in the apartment while I tend to our sons and maintain a home.

She did reach out to my mother on her birthday a week before mine and they started a dialog. My mother adored her and treated her like a daughter. She told my mother that she loves my family and is sorry that she made them sad but our relationship has been bad for a very long time. This was news to me as she never told me this.

S19 had a birthday this past Wednesday. She texted me the day before asking if she should stop by the house or just drop his gift in the mailbox if he didn’t want to see her. I told her she should come by the house and join us for dinner which she did. We all had a nice visit. After she left S20 said “That was weird. She acts like nothing is wrong then just leaves. Guess we won’t see her again until my birthday next month.”

Still don’t understand what she’s going through. Still no PA, still no mention of D, or any explanation/ discussion of what is going on. We keep things light and don’t ask any questions. I know her friends have told her she needs to talk to us. They all think she is fine and don’t believe she is in MLC or depressed. Of course the three wise men here at the house know something is not right with her.

I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing. Be kind, empathetic, work on myself, raise my sons, and pray.

Taz