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Here are the reasons why I want to do it, in order.

1. It time stamps the separation so that the courts one day could see we separated before the 5 years.
2. It allows me to feel like I have some control of where our relationship is heading (right now I am in limbo and I hate it). I know I can't control, her, but I can control where our relationship is headed.
3. Although some agree, and some don't, I think they will show her that I am not sitting here waiting for her to make up her mind. That I am starting to make up mine. That she knows what my expectations are and she has done nothing to work towards them. So I will move forward the only way can...seperation. Remember, D is impossible right now and probably will be for months. This may or may not help her to wake up. But that is not the main reason I am doing it. I need to time stamp his so I don't pay her for years and years!


Well, you have to protect yourself financially. One reason that single men are hesitant to get married these days, is b/c the courts favor the wife in divorces and the H is financially ruined. I'm not a lawyer and don't know how effective the stamp would be some time in the future, after living together again.

My concern is that this step to file legal separation is coming from a H who doesn't know how to tell his WW not to come over to cut his hair.

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She is so afraid to face me and definitely afraid to face my mother. I know she is. So it is a big step for her to reach out.


This is NOT a "step" toward reconciling the MR. Your W has done nothing, that I can tell, except voice concern for your grandmother. Now, I am very suspicious of her so-called "reaching out", b/c you are jumping all over it. I see a WW taking this situation with your grandmother, and using her "concern" to get on friendly terms with you. She just looking for a crack in the door to get back inside. That's why she is blowing up your phone with texts. And finally, she snagged the right one when she asked about cutting your hair. Don't be blind to what she's doing.

Did you stop to think that all the other teachers are in the same boat and can't get their hair cut/fixed? You've got to stop trying to rationalize reasons to let her back, b/c if you don't, she's going to play you for a sucker.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!