Feeling emotional this morning. H said he picked up a shift at his part time job last night but was gone until about 12:30AM, so who knows where he really was, especially during this quarantine situation. This morning I just am annoyed with him and sad about the future, just worried about not giving my baby the life I thought she’d have. I was feeling weepy so went to bed to lie down and H is acting all concerned, came upstairs to check on me, was rubbing my back, and asking me what was wrong. I felt like saying, “what the f*** do you think is wrong? My M fell apart, I’m scared for the future, and I’m so angry at you for continuing to be dishonest”. I just kept saying I was fine and that I was just tired because I figure it’s best to avoid showing that I’m still that upset over the situation. I don’t understand why he feels the need to try to comfort me and ask what’s wrong.
I suspect its guilt... I know it doesn't make you feel any better. I'm so sorry for this situation and I too what to say to my H those types of things. Trouble is he doesn't want to hear them and frankly push him farther away.
Keep showing strength even though you are so twisted inside. Focus on what you can control and the let rest go for now.
I freak out over not seeing or hearing anything from my H in 5 days. But what are 5 days really? Do I think he is going to have some epiphany in 5 days??? Probably not even after 90 days. It is gut wrenching I know.
