H: childhood trauma, alcoholic, depression, MLC? no OW that I know of.
Last September H told me that we should "take a step back" out of nowhere. Then moved out with only essentials and left 99% of his things here, and then brought up D. H initiated multiple D talks but has not followed through. Still comes home occasionally to pick up clothes. A reoccurring problem of our M was SSM.
It feels weird to type up that recap. Last September feels like such a long time ago. I still remember all the initial heartbreaks so vividly. It is strange how time works. With time.....I can see things more clearly, regulate my feelings more calmly, and manage my pain more reasonably.
A few things that I've found really helpful to center myself -
1. Marriage is not my entire life, it is only a part of it. I have many other things to live for than to stress over the state of my M. 2. Doing is nothing is EVERYTHING. Sometimes doing nothing is the BEST thing I can do for the situation. 3. I am worth saving. H is with the dark side. I do not need to go there with him. I follow my own rules that I want to live by. (ex: respect, compassion, love, patience) 4. Life moves forward. Be the strong and stable parent because there is no other choice.
