I just keep patience and let it fizzle out with OM despite her thinking he’s wonderful and basically what feels like in the early stages of a relationship with him?
It's like LH said earlier, you gave her your terms. You made it clear to her she needs to work on herself and earn your trust and interest back. Where you go from here is to pull WAY back. No more R talks. You focus on you and you alone. If she pings you then remind her that you've already had that conversation and now both of you need time to work on yourselves and decide what you really want. So yes be patient. No don't wait for things to fizzle out. Don't want for her at all. Just keep moving forward.
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I do wonder if she’s told him it’s over between me and W for good too so he’s giving her early relationship attention while telling me it won’t last and she will come back. It’s just hard to justify wanting to put up with that now. Before when it was played down I had a better shot at taking it. Now it feels more serious it’s making me want to quit.
Don't lay awake at night pondering what she's thinking and what her words mean. You'll just drive yourself crazy. She's still stuck in the affair fog and flip-flopping around on what she really wants. As LH said, quit focusing on her words and watch her actions. She SAID she'll break it off with OM. She SAID she wants to work on the M. She SAID she's going to seek out IC. But has she DONE anything? No, she hasn't. And even if she does do those things, for one or two days or a week is not enough. WAS's will often do these things and then slip right back into their cheating ways in a few days or a week. You need to see consistent, changed behavior for months before you can start to believe it.
