Day 12 of self isolation and so far so good other than I’ve had a killer headache since Friday. Probably got about an hour sleep last night so I texted my boss that I am taking a sick day...in my house...which is also my office...lol. So bizarre. This is my last week doing my old job and next week I start my new one. I’m going into the office but it is closed to the public so there will just be me and ?? Who knows? Apparently we are on a rotation so there is only two people in the office at the most. I haven’t met any of my staff so this is going to be strange. And people are projecting that this is going to go on for at least four months which is the period of time the federal government is basically supporting anyone who doesn’t have a job. My SD20 lost both her jobs because of CV19 so is applying for the emergency benefit which apparently is about $2,000 a month which will actually be a raise for her...lol.
Speaking of... she’s moving in this coming weekend. I am supposed to go to the mainland on Saturday to get her. Her dad was making noise about keeping the kids (didn’t say it directly but that is where he was heading with his texts) because she is moving in. I guess he thinks because she is 20, she can’t be taking this seriously and was demanding to know how I was going to “keep her quarantined”. Uh...she isn’t quarantined, she is under the same social distancing rules that everyone else is. Never mind that she knows NO ONE here so I have no idea why he thinks she is all of a sudden going to be going out. She told me she is only going out to walk or run with the dog and that’s about it. She assures me that she is taking this seriously and I trust her. Ironic, isn’t it? He is trying to use the fact that HIS daughter is moving in with me to keep me from MY kids. No... hey DV....thanks for taking care of my daughter. Nope. Not once as he EVER said that to me. He thinks because she isn’t talking to him right now that all of his responsibilities toward her stop. It would go a LONG way with her if he sent her some money once in awhile without any expectations or wrote her a heartfelt apology letter for not stepping up as a dad. But no... he won’t. He won’t because at the end of the day, he just doesn’t get it. Not because he is stupid but because he really doesn’t want to get it as that would mean he would have to take a good long look in the mirror and he avoids doing that at all costs.
Then, after having that fun text exchange with XH, I have XMIL texting me yesterday that she stayed up “all night” worrying. She then asked me if Jack was going to be here at all. He is working 45 minutes away from here so I had offered for him to stay with me until all this is over. I told her that if he does stay with me, he is doing the same thing as everyone else. He goes straight to work, works up a ladder by himself and then comes home unless he has to go to the grocery store. He washes his hands and disinfects like everyone else. Maybe even more so because 1) he has asthma and knows he is at higher risk and 2) he is a self-admitted germaphobe. I also reminded her that I will also be going out to work and to the grocery store so am the same risk as he is. She replied that going out to work once in awhile is not the same as going out every day. I then said that is irrelevant and that I could go out 100 times and not be exposed or I could go out once and be exposed. The important thing is that we follow the same procedures every time to minimize the risk. I also reminded her that we don’t live together and that if she wants to keep herself 100% safe, all she has to do is close the door between our two living spaces (which she has done while I’ve been isolating) and not have the kids or SD20 over.
Her response... well, now she’s worried about the kids’ safety too. Sigh... XH, who is now an expert on infectious diseases apparently, has decided that because D12 has mild sports-related asthma, she is at high risk. I’m sure he has been in his mom’s ear about it. Will I ever just get to be divorced?!? I love my home but there may come a point when we just sell and go our separate ways cause I refuse to be parented by my X’s mom and get passive aggressive messages from him through her. I’m an adult. I get to make my own decisions and I am not an overly anxious person the way he is so I will not be made out to be a bad person because of it. My kids are counting the days until they can come home so they are coming home and I will take care of them the way I always have. Frankly, it’s insulting to be questioned like this. If XMIL told me she was going to have someone move in with her, I would not say one word about it. Why? Because I trust her to do her part but, more importantly, she can do what she wants with her place. We do not live together. She lives in a completely self-contained suite that I do not go into unless I want to talk to her in person which is only about 10% of our communications... mostly we text. Why she and XH don’t seem to get that is beyond me. Okay...enough of that. Writing about it just makes me mad.
I texted with Brook for awhile last night. We still talk now and again. He is a nurse at his local hospital so is on his own most of the time as his daughters don’t want to be around him and risk getting CV19. He’s a hugger so he is feeling pretty lonely. We have nice conversations when we do talk but we have definitely moved on from where we were in January. Him because I think he is just too soon out of his divorce and me because I still need to figure out where things are going with Jack. I miss Jack. I miss his hugs and just having him around in general. I was thinking that if he stays with me for awhile, I will cash in on those guitar lessons he promised me. I just need to figure out what to do about my nails since there are no more nail or hair appointments. Now THAT is scary. I can live without the nails (just have to figure out how to get the polish off of them) but my hair is another story. This will be a real test of Jack’s love for me cause it won’t be pretty after awhile. I have to get out of this self isolation so I can get some hair dye...lol.
Anyway...been thinking a lot about everyone on this board - in particular those of you in areas that have been hit hard with CV19. Our government in Canada has been unbelievably steady and calm in this crisis. I don’t care what party you are affiliated with, when I look at what is going on in other countries, I am unbelievably grateful and proud of our leaders for stepping up the way they have been. Our PM has been addressing the nation daily from self isolation and answering questions. There have been daily updates from the provincial government as well. Every time you turn on the tv, the message to stay home, do your part, socially distance, etc... is front and centre. No one here has ANY excuse for not getting on board with social distancing.
Meanwhile we have the American president accusing New York doctors and nurses of stealing and hoarding medical equipment and talking vaguely about conspiracies and how someone should look into that. Oh...and he never said he wanted people back to work by Easter, that was just an aspirational statement. And any shortage of medical supplies is Obama’s fault even though he has been out of office for almost four years. Apparently America’s military was “out of bullets” when he was elected which was also Obama’s fault...lmao. Out of bullets!!! Everything that comes out of that man’s mouth is a lie. He even tells people when they quote him verbatim that they are lying because he can’t keep his lies straight in his own mind. When he was told recently that up to two million Americans could die if they continue to go on the trajectory they are on, he said no one ever told him that even though there is footage of him being told that exact thing two weeks ago. Wow...there are no words...it is like when the Russian government was denying Chernobyl was going on even though we could all see it burning from space. It is insane. He and North Korea’s leader are a couple of public executions away from being the same person.
My apologies to my American friends on here but I am just so upset by this man’s negligence and lack of caring for his own people. He and his lackeys actually suggested there are lots of older Americans out there who would be happy to die of CV19 to save the economy. Wtf?!?! And he has high approval ratings??? How is that possible??? I just don’t understand. Okay. Rant over. Sorry if I have offended anyone here but d@mn...it is just so hard to watch.
Praying for all of you. Wash your hands and don’t touch your face!! Stay safe and be well.
