Before I respond, please understand that I am not saying the WW has to admit any of this to her H. I say this b/c I don't want any H trying to put words in the mouth of his WW, so he can check it off the list. Okay?
That is very useful info. She hasn't said much other than she is sorry for what she did. But it wasn't vert remorseful.
However, today, after she found out my grandmother tested positive for Corona, she reached out to my mother. That was very big of her and I am sure very hard. She sent a message and said, "I know you probably don't want to open a message from me right now. And I am sorry for the extreme pain I caused to both you and KTO, but once I heard (grandma) tested positive I had to reach out to you and tell you I praying for her." She went on to say nice things about my grandmother. My mother did respond back with thanks and that it is a scary thing and none of us should take things for granted in life (my mons attempt at a little jab but she is more than right).
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IMHO, it's when she stops blaming her H for her unhappiness. When she accepts total responsibility for her decisions connected to the affair. When she stops having so much anger toward her H, and stops demonizing him. It's when she stops justifying her actions.
She is still doing this. Not as much lately, actually getting a little better. Recently saying, "I should've told you that I was unhappy in our marriage before and not done what I have done." A few weeks ago it was, You made me walk on eggshells every time I went somewhere" (duh...I wonder why??) I guess it has got a little better.
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We aren't saying you have to stop loving her. You know that, right? You are only a couple of months out, and you're wanting to know how long this is going to last. I understand you are in pain, but there are no crystal balls here. I'll try to help by telling you about the usual behavior of WW's and advise you about some things related to your sitch.
I haven't stopped loving her. I just don't say it or even show it. And Sandi, you have been so helpful. You are an angel. I am thankful for your words of advice. Thousand times over, thank you!
