Quote: cried for awhile, not becuase H wasn't home, but because of the sadness of the whole situation
I totally understand this. It's all so needless, so sad....
Quote: My only question is will this ever end? Will H just continue to go back and forth, back and forth until his head explodes?
I dont' know Cathy...when he's ready. I do know that you need to continue to "not worry about it" (believe me, I know this is easier said than done!) but I think Ohboy put it perfectly. WE will be ok; I just feel for THEM.
It's not our job to worry about them not to save them.
I took liked what Ohboy wrote and think I am there at this point.
Quote: perhaps even thrive, regardless of the decisions my wife makes about her role in this marriage.
Thrive..what a great word. Thrive like my pansies that came back through the winter. And with the water from all my BB friends, I know that I will always bounce back from whatever life has to give me!
Here is the scripture that you can pray over you, your h and your family:
Matthew 16:19
I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
It took me a while to get this and I hope that I don't go over your head, because it went over mine for a little while. When Jesus died on the cross, he went down into the pits of hell and he took the keys from Satan. Satan no longer has authority or control over anything that we think that he does. He only has control over what we allow him to have control over.
Jesus was our blood sacrafice. Okay, in the old testament they killed sheep, but they brought in two for the sacrafice. One is the one that they killed and poured the blood out for their sins. The other one was the one that they placed their sins on and ran off far from the village so the spirits (demons) of those sins could not come back (addiction). Not only were they keeping the addictions from coming back, but breaking the curse from their sins so that it did not go from generation to generation.
Now the yoke around your h's neck is the burden that he carries with him. He has no one to help him carry that burden or to lighten his load because he does not have the Lord yet. As you pray for him, you are helping to carry that burden and trusting in the Lord to help him to break that yoke that is around his neck.
Both of these were tough concepts for me to get until I stopped looking at things through the natural eye and started looking at things through the spiritual eye. There is a huge difference. People can not fight things just by will power alone. Those chains, spirits and demons that are around them have to be broken in order for them to be really free. To never fall back into the same thing again.
It is like an alcholic that falls off the wagon or a drug addict that goes back to drugs. Why do they do that? Because if you listen them, you will hear them say that the pull was just more then they could take. They didn't send the spirit out of the "village" to never return. Does that make anymore sense?
Quote: Now the yoke around your h's neck is the burden that he carries with him. He has no one to help him carry that burden or to lighten his load because he does not have the Lord yet. As you pray for him, you are helping to carry that burden and trusting in the Lord to help him to break that yoke that is around his neck.
Thank you for explaining in a way that makes sense to me.
Quote: Both of these were tough concepts for me to get until I stopped looking at things through the natural eye and started looking at things through the spiritual eye. There is a huge difference. People can not fight things just by will power alone. Those chains, spirits and demons that are around them have to be broken in order for them to be really free. To never fall back into the same thing again.
I see what you’re saying here and again makes sense to me.
Quote: It is like an alcholic that falls off the wagon or a drug addict that goes back to drugs. Why do they do that? Because if you listen them, you will hear them say that the pull was just more then they could take. They didn't send the spirit out of the "village" to never return. Does that make anymore sense?
Yes, yes this is all beginning to make sense. I can relate to the “pull” as I like to play the slots. I must admit the “Pull” to play isn’t as powerful as it was pre-bomb. I do get the urge to go and some days it doesn’t go away unless I go and then if lose my $$, I leave feeling guilty and kicking myself as I should know better!
The last time I was at the casino, I was down $$, but continued to play. I have a hard time "pull"ing myself away somedays and I kept saying "okay I'll quit after this one" and then wouldn't! At one point I think I thought to myself, "G help me stop" and all of a sudden there was someone standing by me and it was my father and the spell was broken. I got up and was able to leave and it wasn't till I was driving home that I realized my prayer saved me! Okay I know what everyone's thinking..no I'm not a gambler that's out of control, ready to lose their house, blah, blah...it's just something I like to do once in awhile, but when I lose I ask myself "why do I continue" for those $$ I could have something tangible.! In the summer I take those same $$ and put them toward golfing.
Thanks for dropping by I think of you often and am kicking myself that I didn't attend your east coast get together. When I first read about it earlier this year, I was considering it, but decided not to go.
I think I'll give it more serious consideration next year, especially when I saw another fellow midwesterner had attended.
Take care..you are cute...I remember your picture!!
Had a hair appt. right after work, said take 1˝ inches off, but not saying in the back and not as short in the front..1 ˝ all around, but I like it!!
Came home H and S were washing H’s truck. S had the hose and I’m thinking how do I get in the house without getting sprayed. Was almost to the door and H starts yelling “spray her, spray her” and I’m yelling not in the garage and H is yelling “spray her” as I make it safely into the house!!
Once we were all in the house it was decided we’d go out to eat for pizza! H was in such a good mood as was I and we had fun, S was a in too good of a mood, couldn’t sit still. H talked about his dad, his friend that I had asked about the other day that my H said he hadn’t talk to in awhile. I’m thinking it might have prompted H to call his friend.
Came home, H got his boots on to go out and mow the lawn. I followed and took the push mower to trim where rider can’t reach. S was on his swing set. Once I was done, H asked me to ride so that he could weedwack. S jumped on with me after I finished mowing to ride the mower and steer. S is so cute, thinks he's mowing the lawn. The blade is off when S is on the mower.
Came in the house, H and S took a shower. H watched TV for a bit while I got S ready for bed. While S was brushing his teeth H went into the bedroom and then out. When I walked in some of my clothes were on the ceiling fan...cracks me up!
Earlier in the evening H asked me why I was grabbing him Monday night? Was it for me or H? I said it was for both of us. H said again was it for you or me? I repeated what I said. Do you think H thinks I’m using him for the sex?
H laid with S until he fell asleep, H got up and went downstairs and then S calls from his room for me to come in there so S wasn’t asleep. I went in and rubbed S’s back for a minute, covered him up and went to bed. Read for a bit and then turned the light off to go to sleep.
I then heard H coming back up the stairs and he came into the bedroom and asked me if I was still “interested from Monday” and was S asleep and well you can guess where it went from there. AND, he stayed with me all night!! First he asked me if it was okay.
We talked a bit, H asked me why I slept on his side. I tried to explain it but I don't think H understood. When I sleep on my side, H's side is empty and I think of him and miss him. So if I sleep on his side I don't miss him...does that make sense...and it's closer to the bathroom and just more convenient when getting in and out and up in the morning.
I misplaced my cell phone, I thought I had lost it, but for the life of me couldn’t figure out where or how. I knew it was last in the living room, tried calling it but it was turned off which was strange as I knew I had left it on. Well this morning H calls me and says it’s on the refrigerator, that S had found it and tried to call his brother, yes he knows how to use the cell phone to call his brother. I thanked H and left for work.
I tried not to put any meaning to anything or to have any expectations about anything..oh thoughts went through my head...but I did my best to turn them off, just let them go right through my thinking process. Ended up thanking G for all the goodness of last night.
It does sound like you had a terrific afternoon/evening. I love how the three of you interacted in the yard.
Your H sounds like a funny guy....like mine...well, when they're "normal" anyway.
Quote: tried not to put any meaning to anything or to have any expectations about anything..oh thoughts went through my head...but I did my best to turn them off, just let them go right through my thinking process. Ended up thanking G for all the goodness of last night.
Hey, we ARE sould sisters. I did the same last night!
At one point I think I thought to myself, "G help me stop" and all of a sudden there was someone standing by me and it was my father and the spell was broken. I got up and was able to leave and it wasn't till I was driving home that I realized my prayer saved me! Okay I know what everyone's thinking..no I'm not a gambler that's out of control, ready to lose their house, blah, blah...it's just something I like to do once in awhile, but when I lose I ask myself "why do I continue" for those $$ I could have something tangible.! In the summer I take those same $$ and put them toward golfing. 
