Anger, pain, humiliation.... I am tempted to confront him about my fears or assumptions that he is still seeing the OW. I know you all say he will lie. That this will only prove to him that he should keep seeing her because undoubtedly we will fight. Just typing this, I realize God answers my prayers. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide my words and thoughts. Being on this and another forum is helping me keep my balance.
A feeling of peace just came over me. I see now. I am not meant to know or care about his journey. He will do what he will do. I must do what I must. Which is to focus on me, my growth, my center and to leave him to his own.
Funny but i have been avoiding him. He is trying to be kinder, more steady this morning. I am standoffish and not engaging. I am learning this detachment thing. Maybe him pushing me last night is helping me. Do he wants to think I'm fake to make himself feel better? So be it. I will keep working on my tone. On being happy and positive and pleasant. No more of my old monstering myself either. I am not her. I can choose to let go of my feelings that I dont want.
I am my own best friend. Thank you all for the foundation and the balance. Whew...
W (me): 50 H: 46 M: 21 T: 25 S:17 D:15 BD 11/2019
Fate whispers to the warrior, "You can not withstand the storm" And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm." ~Unknown
