Quote: Over time, the DB concepts that initially seemed so foreign and distant to me - actions, not words; make changes for you; take care of yourself; patience and unconditional love - are sinking in, and I am beginning to believe that I will survive, perhaps even thrive, regardless of the decisions my wife makes about her role in this marriage.
Don't get me wrong, I am almost 44 yrs old, have been married for almost 20 - I basically grew up with my wife, and I have been devastated by her refusal to forgive past (relatively minor, in my book, but that's another story!) transgressions and her unwillingness to renew her commitment to me, but I am finally beginning to see the futility in chasing an outcome that is not within my control. And I am choosing to manage my own outcomes now. If my wife cares to join me, that would be lovely. And I know I will have some hard work of my own to do to forgive and trust her again. If she decides not to join me, I will struggle, but I am beginning to see that I will be OK, and will take what I have learned with me, find love again, and cherish it.
This was beautifully written. You have just written everything I've been thinking about, trying to talk to myself about, etc...and didn't quite know WHAT to say.
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