Be gentle with yourself, it’s hard trying not to defend.
A common saying is that every situation has two sides and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Actually every situation has two truths, many truths. There is no middle, just viewpoints, each of them as valid as the next. Our perceptions create and shape our reality, our truth.
Believe your truth, and live your truth. Challenge your beliefs and truth as well; it’s a way to grow. See the other sides, and the validity for those that hold them. You can discuss viewpoints; you can’t change their’s. They can, if they choose. You can, if you choose. There is nothing to defend, since you’re not fighting.
Originally Posted by Believe6
I must ask for forgiveness for my MLtransition, while living as an LBS. My H won't be able to forgive or understand my request for forgiveness. But at least I am stating my truth and accepting whatever he is able to understand.
Asking for forgiveness, I realize holds an appeal. It feels right. Do not make decisions or act on feelings. Feelings change and are not good indicators or long term headings.
Yes, asking for forgiveness is ok. However, when. And from whom.
As you said, H won’t be able to forgive you or even understand or empathize. I suggest waiting, not asking H anytime soon.
The person of whom you are seeking forgiveness from, is you. Work on you. Forgive yourself. I know just how tall an order that is. Absolution doesn’t come from an external source. It is an internal journey.
Originally Posted by Believe6
Gosh it's a lot. It's hard. So hard.... but I don't want the last 30 or 40 years of my life to be me hiding my head in the sand because I wasn't strong enough to get through this self inventory and metamorphosis.
Yes it’s hard. And you can so do this.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
