Most MLCers become terrible parents; it’s pretty rare that they are “properly” involved with their kids.
However, it only take one parent to raise a child. One strong stable parent, and that is you.
I think a few things are in play with H. He can’t handle responsibility and pressure, and D3 is that in a bundle of joyful love. He obviously wants to play “daddy” at bedtime and such - those less pressure-filled times; feeling some affection and love. And he is emotionally immature - like a teenager. A teenager that doesn’t know how to raise a child. He probably didn’t have the best role model(s).
And of course, he is confused and running. So yes distancing himself from painful situations. His wanting to exit comes with consequences which he really doesn’t want to face. MLCer’s want that fantasy separation. It doesn’t exist. He is distancing to try to make it easier on himself.
From a guy who’s XW went way off the rails: Be the best parent you can be for your daughter. Don’t worry about getting H involved. Most MLCer run, that includes from the kids - and that is usually for the best.
It only take one strong stable parent.
You got this.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
