Okay, I should put two and two together, H was in his Sunday mood yesterday and nothing should be taken seriously. It's H's mood not mine.
I did have a good day anyway. H and sons fished most of the day and I had that part of the day to myself. Although, as H was getting in the truck to leave S4 comes running in the house and asked me if I was going He said D had asked him to ask me. I declined as I wasn't ready, didn't have a fishing license and had my own plans since it wasn't until that moment that I knew I was invited.
I worked in my flower garden, went shopping for new blinds. Sat down to read and fell asleep, I was so tired and it was the middle of the afternoon.
H and S came home, S was sleeping, put him to bed. Went back outside and came back in and H was sleeping so I went and worked outside some more. It's "thinkig" time and I really enjoyed being out there. My favorite flower is a pansy. I planted lots of them last year and a lot of them came back this year on their own, scattered in places where I hadn't planted them the year before. So I moved them all to the same part of the garden so that I would have room to plant more!
Decided I would get KFC for dinner, ran to get that. Everyone else must have had the same idea. Cleaned up the dishes and outdoors. After that we watched Brother Bear. S4 has a terrible cough and it's aggrivated when he's very active so we told him he couldn't go outside the rest of the eveing. We put the tape in and S wanted to sit with me which means I have to put my arm around him which..it' so cute. H wasn't with us at the start of the movie but did join us eventually. Which is a first, I don't think he's ever watched a movie with our little guy. Eventually S went and sat in the chair with his D. It was a nice evening.
I picked the one negative of the evening to post here when I should be focussing on all the positives.
Quote: I picked the one negative of the evening to post here when I should be focussing on all the positives.
This is SO easy to do, Cathy. And I notice, especially with my sons, that if I am affirming, they respond so much better, if I am critical, they get defensive and ugly... Refer back to goal #1 of mine... be affirming whenever possible. Words of affirmation, words of affirmation. Not only does it make the target feel better, it changes my whole PMA, too.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Great evening last night! When I got home from work I had decided S and I were going to the park and for a walk. The park has awesome playground equipment and walking/bike path so I took S4's bike (yes he can ride without training wheels!) so that we could walk after he played. When we pulled into the lot there was a little boy on his bike and it was boy who had been at daycare with my S. This boy is now in kindergarten and was with his mom and little sister who is still at daycare with my S. She's a cutey and coincendently has the same name as mine..she's a cutey. I spoke with their mother for a bit. Her H had been in Iraq for awhile, he flies the Blackhawk's, but is back and she is thankful for that! It's funny because when we're droppping off/picking up kids there's never time to really talk and last night was the first time we had an actual conversation!
I did invite H to go with us, but he declined, said he was going to Gander Mt. At one point we were talking about S going full time to preschool this fall and H DEMANDING I call other provider and telling her right now!! Drum roll please...H said "I won't be here anyway" as I walked out the door to take S to park! I acted like I didn't hear him didn't want to go into it at that time either.
Ya know before DBing when H would say this I'd always say go ahead an leave orr he'd say I'm going to get a girlfriend to which I'd say go ahead she can see what you're like, too!
Came home from walk, H arrived at the same time. Made dinner, cleaned up, did some laundry..hung H's jeans to dry. He doesn't like them in the dryer because he says they shrink..well I could have "forgotten" and put them in the dryer, but I didn't.. I guess it's more beleivable to think that they shrunk rather than you might have gained a little weight.
Storm warnings were out, H was worried about his crane as it was up and if it got too windy it'd flip. Was considering driving over to "lay" it down. Changed his mind after talking to a co-worker, we went and got ice cream instead.
S went to bed early, I asked H if he was interested and he pushed me away. Fine I went to bed and watched TV, H went down to bed. When I was laying there heard H come back up, poked his head into my room, went into the bathroom got his eye drops and back down he went.
This morning he was up bright and early and off to work well before his start time. H took the trash out before he left.
I do ask H how is day is, how work went, etc. I am doing the right things in showing interest in H's life, his job, and he does share with me at certain times. I do my best to thank him for the things he does.
This is helping me detach from H, because these are things that H said he was unhappy with and I am doing them now. I don't think they were a real reason as to the breakdown of our marriage, a small part maybe, but not so huge that it would make something just "happen" with OW.
If you see a mushroom and you eat becuase you DON'T think it's poisonous and find it is once you've eaten it. It doesn't mean you're not going to suffer the consequences. In a way isn't this what happened when H says "it just happened" yes maybe it did just happen, but it doesn't make it right or that you're not going to suffer the consequences. I hope I stated this clearly, it makes sense to me, but in writing...well...?
I think you did great not reacting to H's line about not being there anyway. Doesn't he get tired of giving you the same threat? Hasn't he figured out that you're not bothered by it?
It sounds like you had such a great evening otherwise. Your little guy is riding without training wheels? Wow! My little dd is still riding her tricycle but actually rode a bicycle with training wheels the other day. We may just have to upgrade her bike!
Quote: I do ask H how is day is, how work went, etc. I am doing the right things in showing interest in H's life, his job, and he does share with me at certain times. I do my best to thank him for the things he does.
This is helping me detach from H
Same here! I'm finally seeing that you can care about somebody, show interest in their life and yet not try to live their life. Yup...it's taken me 37.5 years to learn this.
Quote: If you see a mushroom and you eat becuase you DON'T think it's poisonous and find it is once you've eaten it. It doesn't mean you're not going to suffer the consequences. In a way isn't this what happened when H says "it just happened" yes maybe it did just happen, but it doesn't make it right or that you're not going to suffer the consequences. I hope I stated this clearly, it makes sense to me, but in writing...well...?
I never thought about it this way , but it makes perfect sense!
I was thinking about you the other night. I was thinking that I just love your wit...you must be a lot of fun to be around.
Thanks for visiting. It seems when they say "it just happened," it is not quite true. They allowed it to happen. It was a conscious decision on their part to have an A. My H's OW told me that. Said they did not mean for it to happen. Hah!!! She was the one who actively pursued my H and my H allowed a third party to come in between our M. Choices made, good and bad...but there is always a consequence, good or bad. Your H is still like a belligerent teenager who does not want to be accountable to anybody. Hopefully, he will wake up soon and you don't have to deal with crazy OW anymore. Just keep your focus on you and your S. I know easier said than done.
Your H at least has been spending time with your S fishing and stuff. You are right, you will need a lot of patience just so you would not choke him. I see you like pansies. Mine came back after being buried in snow over the winter. But now that it is getting hotter, they will wilt real soon. I will have company over the weekend. He is the brother of my best friend. I did not have the heart to tell her no. But the brother is a womanizer. He is bringing in his No. 3 who he had a child with a long time ago (18 yrs old) and is now a widow. No. 3"s other child is 10 yrs old. Hopefully, they will cancel at the last minute. I would be ecstatic about that. We will see.
If you see a mushroom and you eat becuase you DON'T think it's poisonous and find it is once you've eaten it. It doesn't mean you're not going to suffer the consequences. In a way isn't this what happened when H says "it just happened" yes maybe it did just happen, but it doesn't make it right or that you're not going to suffer the consequences. I hope I stated this clearly, it makes sense to me, but in writing...well...?
I applaud that statement as I just heard that myself a couple of weeks ago,and this after my W practically killing herself to spend time Iming me(giving me bit of hope,HA!!!!),what a joke it is,and she will suffer these very consequences!!!!!! Shame on these people!!!! Do they really think we are THAT stupid??? OTO
Oh I know it didn't just happen...it's a convenient excuse. My H was intent on leaving, even told me this himself, so to say it "just happened" is to take no responsibility for a poor choice that will haunt him and OW for the rest of there lives.
I don't feel sorry for OW at all. She's in her sitch and it's her own making. I do pray for her and hope she can come through a better person. I know it can be done as I did it, came to believe in the wonderful, loving person that I am, was all along, just lost myself along the way. That no matter what I will be okay. More importantly without the Lord I honestly don't know where I would be today. The mushroom story I found in the bible.
Oh I know it didn't just happen...it's a convenient excuse. My H was intent on leaving, even told me this himself, so to say it "just happened" is to take no responsibility for a poor choice that will haunt him and OW for the rest of there lives.
I don't feel sorry for OW at all. She's in her sitch and it's her own making. I do pray for her and hope she can come through a better person. I know it can be done as I did it, came to believe in the wonderful, loving person that I am, was all along, just lost myself along the way. That no matter what I will be okay. More importantly without the Lord I honestly don't know where I would be today. The mushroom story I found in the bible.
He said D had asked him to ask me. I declined as I wasn't ready, didn't have a fishing license and had my own plans since it wasn't until that moment that I knew I was invited.
I guess it's more beleivable to think that they shrunk rather than you might have gained a little weight. 
Hasn't he figured out that you're not bothered by it?
, but it makes perfect sense!