Sadly yes, they do distance from the kids and sometimes demonize them as well. Shortly before he left, mine talked about how privileged and entitled my children are. Remember the reverse distancing (works the opposite in reconnection). They distance from the spouse, from the kids, from the pets, from the house. Then they disappear. Poof, gone. Then when they try to reconnect, everything is in reverse. It has been interesting watching mine do the reverse part. He gets to a certain place then runs off again and has to start all over. But the times in between are shorter and they move faster through the parts they've already done.
Yes, let him have his phone and his garage time. Remember that Job likes to remind us that for the first 6 months after the divorce everything is wonderful. They are living that shiny life we kept them from and then it all starts to become a little less shiny. And, well, you know where it goes from there. Just read my thread or Grace's. But hers is probably a lot more normal in terms of experience.
Snipe at him if you want, it won't make a difference. He has a long, long way to go. Do right for what feels right for you as a person with no regard to any effect it has on him. Be who you want to be for you and the example you want to set for your child.
Remember, you can't force people to parent or co-parent. They step up or they don't, and these guys generally don't step up. You are the stable one. The one she needs.
Enjoy that sweet girl, take the time he discards, those lovely times are over quickly. The preteen and teen years are far less enjoyable.
