you are the one splitting hairs here. Nothing will work, there is NO friggin silver bullet, you do ahve to get to grips with it. People helping you over here are are talking from their own experience and do know what they are talking about.
Until you stop taking $hit from her and start growing, you will be stuck in a rut. She wants out and you have to let her go. If she comes back, she's yours if she does not, she never was.
No amount of a$$ kissing and tiptoeing around her will turn her towards you. She has to respect you, before she would even consider commiting to you.
Again, if you are basing your feelings on the response you get from her, then you are in for a world of hurt.
Splitting hairs?
Who said anything about basing my feelings on her responses? Or tiptoeing around her or a$$ kissing? Or a silver bullet?
The problem is...people know what they are talking about *for them* not for a magic silver bullet for everyone. Which was my point. But I guess that's splitting hairs.
The fact is, there is a lot on these forums that contradict what Michele and her books say. A lot. For instance, so many people say, "oh no, don't let your S see the book. The book is only for the LBS." That's BS. DR is clearly geared towards either, and even has some section(s) that speak directly to the S who is leaving or considering it. And in the success story section, one even includes someone giving the book to their spouse to read and that playing a part in turning things around.
There is no magic bullet, no concrete single one way, but that is often a lot of what I have found on here. Stuff that worked for a particular situation being presented as that absolute go to for everyone.
If nothing works, then Michele, everyone associated with this site, and everyone on this forum is wasting an awful lot of time.
