Hello,

Great evening last night! When I got home from work I had decided S and I were going to the park and for a walk. The park has awesome playground equipment and walking/bike path so I took S4's bike (yes he can ride without training wheels!) so that we could walk after he played. When we pulled into the lot there was a little boy on his bike and it was boy who had been at daycare with my S. This boy is now in kindergarten and was with his mom and little sister who is still at daycare with my S. She's a cutey and coincendently has the same name as mine..she's a cutey. I spoke with their mother for a bit. Her H had been in Iraq for awhile, he flies the Blackhawk's, but is back and she is thankful for that! It's funny because when we're droppping off/picking up kids there's never time to really talk and last night was the first time we had an actual conversation!

I did invite H to go with us, but he declined, said he was going to Gander Mt. At one point we were talking about S going full time to preschool this fall and H DEMANDING I call other provider and telling her right now!! Drum roll please...H said "I won't be here anyway" as I walked out the door to take S to park! I acted like I didn't hear him didn't want to go into it at that time either.

Ya know before DBing when H would say this I'd always say go ahead an leave orr he'd say I'm going to get a girlfriend to which I'd say go ahead she can see what you're like, too!

Came home from walk, H arrived at the same time. Made dinner, cleaned up, did some laundry..hung H's jeans to dry. He doesn't like them in the dryer because he says they shrink..well I could have "forgotten" and put them in the dryer, but I didn't.. I guess it's more beleivable to think that they shrunk rather than you might have gained a little weight.

Storm warnings were out, H was worried about his crane as it was up and if it got too windy it'd flip. Was considering driving over to "lay" it down. Changed his mind after talking to a co-worker, we went and got ice cream instead.

S went to bed early, I asked H if he was interested and he pushed me away. Fine I went to bed and watched TV, H went down to bed. When I was laying there heard H come back up, poked his head into my room, went into the bathroom got his eye drops and back down he went.

This morning he was up bright and early and off to work well before his start time. H took the trash out before he left.

I do ask H how is day is, how work went, etc. I am doing the right things in showing interest in H's life, his job, and he does share with me at certain times. I do my best to thank him for the things he does.

This is helping me detach from H, because these are things that H said he was unhappy with and I am doing them now. I don't think they were a real reason as to the breakdown of our marriage, a small part maybe, but not so huge that it would make something just "happen" with OW.

If you see a mushroom and you eat becuase you DON'T think it's poisonous and find it is once you've eaten it. It doesn't mean you're not going to suffer the consequences. In a way isn't this what happened when H says "it just happened" yes maybe it did just happen, but it doesn't make it right or that you're not going to suffer the consequences. I hope I stated this clearly, it makes sense to me, but in writing...well...?

Cathy