Had my 2nd coaching session today, and thought it went well.
Definitely some strong deviations from *some* advice given here, and more in line with what I had been thinking before, and from the DR book.
Suggested I engage with her more, ask her how she's doing, etc. Since I'm generally more reserved and quiet, and had even pulled back more from that during our relationship, this is doing something different. And it appears to have been something she responded well to before. Not pursuing, not talking about our relationship, just being a more present and engaging person. A happy medium between the pressure of pursuit and the disconnection from non-engagement and letting her initiate everything.
Not everything works the same for everyone. Some people may have stronger personalities, so for them, pulling back and being distant is what their partner needs. Whereas, for someone like myself, the opposite is true (without adding the pressure of pushing the relationship).
The proof is in the pudding. This being distant and not talking to her unless she initiates is more of the same, cheeseless tunnels for me, and the response to it has not been good. It's not the person I want to be, and appears to not be the person she wants to engage with either.
