I agree 100% w/what DnJ has posted. Your friends and family do not want to see you hurt or in pain, but trying to explain MLC is way over their heads unless they have walked a mile in your shoes. DO NOT give any info about MLC to your h. They do not want us to tell them that there is something wrong w/them. In their minds, they know that something is off, but do not want to admit it to anyone. They think that they are fine.
My advice is to talk to one or two friends and leave the others on the outside of the situation. We all need at least one person IRL to talk to about what is going on.
Also, the stages are not linear, they are grieving for what they think that they have lost in life. We are grieving for the loss of a marriage that has now died. Just as the stages of grief are expressed by all who have lost something near and dear to us, the same happens w/MLC. The stages are very similar...but again not linear.
Jim Conway who wrote about his own MLC many, many years ago talked about the stages. His wife also wrote a book about Jim's crisis and how she coped during that time. You may want to check their books out. Try to remember, that the stages are just a guideline and are not set in stone, nor is the timeline that HeartsBlessing has indicated in her postings of many years ago. Since her postings, we have learned much more about MLC and yes, there is even one more stage, which I have mentioned over the years that isn't recognized by many unless the reconciliation is taking place...but that's down the line for now...
Bottom line, observe, listen, validate where you can. Keep your discussions w/others outside your immediate family to a minimum and take what they say w/a grain of salt...they only want what is best for you.
For now, you need to keep the focus on you and your family, watch your finances, i.e., bank statements and credit cards. Dig deeper for patience and understand that this is not a journey that you were suppose to go on w/him. This is a journey that only he can make and complete in order to come out the other side a whole, mature, settled man. Your journey is to rediscover the woman you were when you met him. It is a time to do those things that you've put off doing because you were too busy. Make that list, check it off when the item is completed and know that no matter what happens, you will and are a success.
Keep that focus on you. Allow God to work on you h. Remember...you didn't break him, therefore, you can't fix him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
