Now that you have a lawyer, any legal questions should be handled by the lawyers. One thing that you need to do is stop attempting to reason w/him over anything, especially the financial/asset side of the everything. If he has any questions concerning the financial order and why your lawyer is against giving him money to purchase another home, then he should be directing his frustration and questions to his own legal counsel.
About him coming to the home and getting things. Have him give you a list of what he wants, then set those things somewhere safe, schedule a time for pick up and remind him that you are only going to compile what is on that list. Be sure you keep a copy of that list and take photos of what he is picking up. Advise him that you need a date and time for the pick up and if he misses that opportunity, then another date and time will need to be scheduled. I would also make sure that my son was there as a witness to the pick up of items.
As for the shared calendar...I would suggest you stop posting on that calendar and if there is a way tor remove that app from your phone, then by all means do so. He may very well be posting stuff on there just so that you can see it and get you all spun up over the postings. There's no rhyme or reason for what they do...but they are really good at aggravating us. So, take control and delete that app from your phone.
As for replying to texts, read them and determine if they really require a response. If they do, then reply back at a later time. If it's an emergency, then reply as quickly as possible...but otherwise, leave them until later.
Please, please stop trying to rationalize w/this man. You can't do it because he doesn't want to hear it right now. He is a desperate man who wants everything done his way and it's not going to happen. He figures that the more he badgers you, that one day soon you will finally give in. They are like 2 years olds who want everything their way and will continue to annoy "mom" until "mom" gives in.
You have more control over things than you think. Take back the control...stop telling him you need time and space. That is just fueling his fire to annoy the h*ll out of you. Just take that time and space back. Actions speak louder than words. Remember...your words are falling on deaf ears right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
