Moving On Over to Surviving the Big D

[HaWho]

Strange times these are. We are 1 week into lockdown here in California. I know it is the calm before the storm. We are probably just behind NYC, I think.

My sister is an operating room nurse and has been for 30 years! She told me she had saved a few masks at the onset of this, in her locker. Today she said a coworker had a mask break, rubber band snapped. They are not changing masks between patients. She said that is the first time ever she has seen this. She says there is so much breaking of rules. Anyway, this nurse told her boss she was uncomfortable as her mask broke and there were no other ones available. My sister said had she known she would have given her a mask she had saved. The nurse without a mask was sent home. Things never before seen in the 30 years my sister has nursed. No fresh masks in elective surgery. If you have something elective scheduled; cancel!

She said anesthesiologists have it the worst. They are incubating patients reusing the same masks. This is in a non CoVid unit. These are elective surgeries. Surgeons decide if the surgeries go on.

As for lockdown, S14 is happy as a clam. S16 is ever antsy. He is über social and hard to tire out. Reading about hospitals in NYC and following Ginger, I have had him read about hospitals there to understand the bigger picture.

Today I walked my dog to the grocery store. He was tied up outside and as I was paying, I looked outside to check on him and who do I see, but ex sitting and petting him. I saw him before he saw me. Then I saw him see me. But the windows were tinted so he didn’t know I saw him see me. I paid and took my time bagging, stalling. I think he was waiting to see if the boys were there.

I had zero interest in talking to him. No nervousness but no interest either. He is just a person I used to know. It is hard to believe we once stood at an altar and pledged ourselves to each other. I stalled more as he still was sitting there. Ugh! Move on, would you! I felt nothing and the only thing I would want to say to him is, why did you have to make your mistress the step mom to my kids? So many women, why repeat the pattern of your dad?

I checked my phone and stalled even more. As I walked out of the store he walked in; relief. Two ships passing.

Total and utter indifference outside of him making his mistress my kids’ stepmom.