Sigh........................... I am doing a poor job communicating. I apologize.
Okay, you were using the "after the last resort technique" (which is basically dropping off the planet) for two months, b/c there was some other guy in the picture, and everything you previously tried failed to change your WW's mind. Is this right, or have I confused you with someone else?
This is correct.
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So, did something change in the sitch to cause you to come out of darkness and initiate a call to your wayward W and invite her out? If not, then you set yourself up for failure. Why would you wine, dine, talk for four hours, and have sex......if there has been no changes? That's what I'm not understanding.
The only thing that changed was that, unbeknownst to me at the time, the OM was now out of the picture.
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Pursuing a WW is showing her that you are eager to spend time with her. Then after a wonderful night of having sex, you were very eager to repeat that experience. And, being true to her wayward nature, she wasn't on the same page with you. Has that little fact slowed you down? Apparently not.
You’re right. I’m not thinking clearly, and that’s why I’m here.
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You were eager to know what to do or say, if she contacted you to ask you to dinner. Not sure why you thought she would, but never-the-less, I gave a couple of examples and tried to explain what may happen. However, you have missed the point.....or I failed to make it clear enough.
It now appears, to me, that all you were really wanting is a short script to follow, should she call. Then I find out you are wanting to know if you get to go out with her ...... will it be okay to be intimate with her again. Am I assuming it does not matter to you that NOTHING has changed for her???? Are you willing to put your health at risk, without requiring that she is tested for STD, since she has had sex with OM?
I don’t believe she had sex with OM. It was an EA. The OM lives 1000 miles away.
I know that nothing has changed for her as of right now. But my question about having dinner and being intimate with her was in the context of a future meeting where she would be pursuing me (i.e., she’d ask me to dinner, I’d decline; she’d ask me to dinner a second time, and then I would accept). Does the fact that she has to pursue me (in this hypothetical future scenario) change anything for her?
I am doing a poor job communicating. I apologize. 
