he traded me in he did not have a personality transplant.
Exactly! I think my ex and his new wife are happy together (she wasn't an OW thank god, he started dating her about a year after we separated). However I know that eventually his critical nature will come back out and he will start to find fault with her the way he did with me. Or maybe he already does, who knows? I hope they stay together so she will continue to care for him.
AS for your Aspie son - my ex had narcissistic traits, and the fact that our oldest (mild Aspie) son was not the "cool kid" he wanted him to be meant that my ex was never able to be the loving father to that son that he deserved. That son still tries to win his father's love and attention but it almost always has to be on my ex's terms. (Example - this son has lived with me for 5 or 6 years, since finishing college. Ex lives 45 minutes away. Son works graveyard shift so it is difficult for him to travel to see his father, since he needs to be in bed by 2-3 in the afternoon and has a fear of driving tired. However over those years I think ex has driven up here to see son maybe 5 times - all other visits have been son driving to ex.) It's probably a relief for your son not to live under the critical eye of his father.
