Time to file? (Thanks BenB - part 2)

[sandi2]

What does "have her served" actually mean?

Where I live, an officer from the deputy sheriff's office would deliver the papers in person to her. The officer could not just leave papers with someone to give her, b/c she would have to personally receive the paper. I'm not for sure if they have to get her signature, maybe someone here knows. I think people have someone served who are not living together, and who don't want any excuses of "I never saw any D papers".

Maybe LH19 has more to add.

Many ppl here have talked about an asset list. Whats your take in this, should I create one and give that to her as well?

I don't have a particular opinion about a list. I can see you doing all the hard work of listing everything out, and then giving her a copy. As usual, she doesn't have to put forth any actual labor of naming everything and tying it out. Old habits are hard to break, right? You are an efficient guy, and that's how you operate. So, I'm not faulting you too much, if you'd feel more comfortable listing everything.

I do have an opinion about keepsakes, wedding gifts, shared gifts, things inherited from family members, furnishings, etc. I won't get into big marital property, retirement funds, etc. My opinion is that the woman doesn't automatically get something that was inside the home. Men need to wake up and realize they are not being macho or showing strength by letting their WW pick & choose whatever she wants.....and he gets the left overs. In most cases, she will expect to get first pick, just b/c she is the woman, and that's how history has taught that men should do...."give in to the little lady". So, there needs to be some type of guidelines that determines who gets what assets, as fairly as possible under these circumstances.

She doesn't get to keep all the little things from the children's baby days......just b/c she's the mother. Keepsakes should be divided with the H. If she doesn't want any of it, fine. IMHO, photos are a pain to sort through, but don't expect her to want to keep those of just you & her. Most times, I don't think they hold attachment for the cheating wife. My daughter (who wasn't wayward) took days sorting pictures and trying to divide fairly........and then her H didn't take any of them. Somehow, I can see you going through the shoe box of old snapshots, equally dividing the his & her stacks. If it were me, I would do it too. Anything, large or small, expensive or cheap, that came from your side of the family.....gives you the right to keep or reject. Same regarding her family. Things you purchased as a couple, may be tougher to decide between you. You never know for sure how a WW will swing when it comes to actually splitting everything acquired during the relationship. My son was so dazed when he discovered the truth behind his W's wanting "space", that he couldn't get his brain wrapped around splitting all their things. However, my wayward DIL gave him all the wedding photos, and wedding gifts that had their names and wedding date inscribed. She didn't want them, and it felt like a slap in his face, as she was headed out to start a new life with OM. Okay, so enough about photos.

I could talk for days about all of this, but my main point is don't sit back and let her have first choice, just b/c she's the mother/woman. If you've got six months, I guess you'll have time to list and sort.