1st Anniversary of Limbo, Indecisive WAH (part 2)

[Pommy99]

Pommy, I think you're handling it well. You don't want to roll out the red carpet simply because he's bored and wants something to do. All signs point towards classic cake-eating on his part. Keep him at arm's length like you're doing. Keep it up and he'll start learning to miss you. Expect some big-time pursuit because he feels you slipping away as Plan B. If you give in to his pursuit and send him "I'm interested" signals then he will instantly distance and push you away again, because he'll be secure that you are still on as Plan B.

Thank you AS and CW. I’m trying to stand firm. He spent 12 hrs at the house with us yesterday as we are all in lockdown. He has been very tactile, touching my arm a few times as he goes past, and spent a fair amount of time being man about the house (washed out the kitchen bins and a few chores!). When he went late in the evening however, the anxiety kicked in pretty bad. It was like the weekly city trip all over again. I imagined him spending the rest of his day texting OW (if she still exists).

We had a fall out today. I went out for a bike ride and when I got back to the house he had turned up unannounced to use the gym equipment. I told him it wasn’t appropriate and that he had made his choice not to live here and he couldn’t now have his cake etc. He said that given the situation (lockdown) he thought I’d help him out. I simply said that sure it’s an inconvenience that you don’t get a choice in, but you’ll just have to live without weights for awhile, just like I have to live without a husband. He then replies “well I have to live without a wife”. Wtf it was his decision!

I later sent a text to explain I couldn’t be his friend right now as everytime he walked in and out again it hurt all over again , and that I need space and time to heal. (He’s been MO 13 days...I’ve seen him on 12 of those!)

He replied to say he was sorry he’d made me feel like that and that he has been missing my company, which has confused him.

I haven’t replied. I don’t know how to validate or if I should?