I am chiming in here with an al-anon principle of giving someone the dignity to fail on their own. The more you try to fix and help and solve his problems, the less time and energy you spend on yourself. If he forgets his ID somewhere - he is an adult man and can get it himself!
(Conversely, give him room to succeed on his own, too)
I see what you are saying - its just he left it at the house and wanted to get it. I cannot deny him his ID?
Legally I cannot bar him from the house and while he is pushing back on that he did back down based on my principle of needing my own space through this. I tried making a point of saying I have no idea where he is and I'm not showing up there announced or otherwise.
Its way to early in our sitch for him to have a change of heart or regret. I get that. His mind is made up.
I'm trying hard to pull back. And, I do really good NOT contacting him first. However, I did a poor job of repeating his texts to him today. I need to take action and remove myself from his banter.
I'm trying to get my strength and work on my issues that caused our M to collapse. I'm focusing on my future. I know if he can give me 4 days of no contact... like I have been asking for so long it will help me. How many times do I have to ask for space???
I'm giving him his.
I know I still have a lot to work on.
I didn't say deny him his ID or bar him from the house - letting him solve his own problems means no actual involvement at all. If you are really wanting to resolve this ID situation, mail it to him. It seems you are not really examining the gray area - everything seems black and white. Either you're being super nice to him, or swinging the other way and being petty. Both take energy. I understand ignoring him takes energy now, too. You deserve your own attention and energy way more than he does.
Echoing CW's sentiment: he doesn't GIVE you space, you TAKE your own space and ignore him, regardless of what he does. Block his number, put notifications off, etc. etc. If you feel you want to reply, either make yourself wait 24 hours or write it down and burn it.
