I no longer like to reference how long since BD because it upsets me lets just say it's taken me quite a while to get to where I am now and I'm still struggling. Sometimes my thoughts are that he's a better man for her which causes pain and then I have to ground myself in truth. He's 54 years old and he's been this way since I met him 30 years ago. He did get it in my head that had I been a better wife he would have been more intimate, more present but that's not true is it?
He'd give me the shirt off his back but don't ask him to play a board game. He'd buy me flowers on major holidays, go out on dates, the perfect husband but once home he'd zone out in front of the tv or nap. He was there physically but emotionally he was somewhere else. If I complained he'd point all things he did do, I agreed so I tried to make my needs smaller. He really is a great guy....ugh.
