I think giving him his belongings and financial disclosure paper work is fine. Business-like and proper. You can even give him a smile and be nice and relaxed about it. Look at Hope, just going about her day.
But...
No notes!!! Please!
Originally Posted by HopeCA
I say this because after so much confusing behavior/mixed messages/admitted confusion and conflict from H, at this time he is expressing that he feels pressure and guilt related to me (although even he admits it’s by zero fault or action of mine). Directly post BD it’s advised to demonstrate that response, to remove pressure or the illusion of it, and to let the leaving spouse know you don’t intend to try to stop them. The way he’s talking, I get the sense that he feels that I’m somehow standing in his way, so I’m feeling like that’s what’s needed here, both for my own sake and for the sake of this situation or what’s left of it.
Well it sounds like he has a lot of his own feelings to sort through.
Focus on you.
By giving him his belongings and the paper work, you are demonstrating that you are not standing in his way.
If he expresses his feelings you can validate (or even just practice reflective listening). Leave your feelings out of it. Your feelings are an inconvenience to him, they are pressure, they will be misinterpreted and misconstrued and added to the mountain of evidence supporting whatever his latest narrative is.
