I'm so messed up right not that I almost don't want to work on myself because she will benefit from it.
WhAt?!?!
Originally Posted by Core
Today she rolled her eyes at me like a teenager when I was trying a new method to stop ome of S1s tantrums. Blatant disrespect. Not only that but does one realize how they are perceived when they roll their eyes?
No she doesn't realize it.
Originally Posted by Core
What do I do to build respect? U is right that there is still none. Even if we D, we need respect. Ive kicked her out of the mbr, told her she can leave or file any time she desires, put boundaries down. Im enforcing my last boundary and am only communicating kid logistics since the eyeroll.
You cannot INSIST on respect. You can learn techniques to command respect. But ultimately, she may not ever respect you. You can only control your part of the equation. Eyerolls I would shrug off.
Originally Posted by Core
Im defeated, exhausted, hopeless and lack the will to stay in this marriage. I'm ashamed that we are here. I pictured signing the divorce papers and got so happy yesterday. This was all preventable with a little communication and self improvements. I'd rather live alone and miss half the kids childhoods than live with this version of W. If I file, I'll never know if its the right or wrong choice. All the other sitches similar to mine that ended in a happy reconcile seemed to resolve quicker than mine.
Core, you often sound really stirred up with anxiety in your posts. As an anxiety sufferer myself, it took a long time (and is still a WIP) for me to build calm confidence in my decisions, rather than dive into the mentally exhausting cycle of anxiety. Often anxiety had me thinking "Either I do A, or I do B". This is a fallacy.
Whether or not you end up filing for D, it's not going to make you happy or not. Other factors will.
