OMG! Stay off other sites. You can search around the Internet and stumble upon an answer you may like. My guess is that's exactly what you've been doing, b/c you didn't like the advice you were getting here.
Honestly, I was searching around before I found this site. It has been something that has stuck with me finding a few weeks ago.
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If she were in the house right now, she would promptly announce that you would stay in separate bedrooms, b/c she did it last time she came home.
You are right but then she moved into the MBR because she "was wrong and was emotional". Now I know why she was emotional...b/c she was in an A.
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You didn't have to hear it, b/c you've been thinking about it since she left and you your temper had time to cool down. Now you are lonesome and want her there.
Of course, I am. I lost my life and family. Now I sit at home, every day, all day, taking care of a 3-year-old while trying to work and detach. These circumstances make it so I can't keep my mind off it. My house was a tomb, it is a tomb. I see her everywhere and I can't escape it.
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You are still hung up on the MC?? My suggestion was to strongly consider MC as one of your terms for reconciling. IMHO, it is better to get her agreement before she moves back home......or she'll probably not attend if she comes home without agreeing to your terms.
I am only hung up on this because it is where she is most honest (and held accountable). I did ask my therapist yesterday (who has been our MC), and he agreed with you, Sandi. Actually, he agreed with everything you have said. Everything. He told me to keep listening to you. He said no MC until we are much further rin this process (if we even get there). He said he thinks there have been good signs. For instance, trying to get in the house shows she has some love for me. That if she has lost the love she would be on with her life. But y trying to get back in shows she thinks about coming back. Although she is still a WW, she is thinking about the future without me. She just ins;t thinking rationally about it yet.
I do think, however, she will go to MC anytime I ask. I just won't ask until reconciling.
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I've talked till I'm blue in the face, and you're still twisted. You're allowing your emotions to dictate your actions. First, you got angry she was still contacting OM and you kicked her out. You were hot and ready to email her a list of boundaries. Remember? Today, you are bored and lonesome and even considered going over to her parents, where she is staying.
You are right. I am acting on emotions. I need to stop but it is hard. I am an emotional perosn...which has served me well in somethings in my life. But not this.
And I was going to her parent's house just to drop off my D...which didn't happen anyways.
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I think I just need to back off a couple of days, b/c I feel you are misunderstanding too much of what I say. That's not your fault, it's mine. So, I'll back off and maybe some of the men can get through to you.
I am not misunderstanding I am posting based on my emotions. Luckily, I am not acting on those emotions because all of you talk me off the ledge. All of your advice is invaluable. I am posting my irrational emotions because I look for your sound advice. All of you have made me stronger...I am just not strong yet. It is a process for me and I can't thank you all enough for your support. And I promise I will stay off of other sites :-)
