Hello DB friends, hope everyone is keeping well and doing their best to take care of themselves and others during this time.
Thx so much for checking in on me Believe6, and dnj, Cardinal, Wooba, peacetoday for your comments and wisdom. I’ve been MIA for a bit to take care of myself and others. My plate has been very full between work and unfortunately worry. I had family members that were out of Country and like many, I was very concerned about their safe arrival back home which finally happened a couple of days ago. On top of that I became very sick again (respiratory /pneumonia) and was trying desperately to avoid a hospital visit/stay with everything that’s going on. I’m out of the woods now and feeling quite a bit better, just not 100% but getting there. Again like many I will also find out next week if I’m laid off work. All in all it’s been a lot and that’s not even mentioning MLC fun.
UPDATE: since I last wrote...I have retained a lawyer at his constant and repeat demand to “get a lawyer”. Right out of the gate I couldn’t be happier with her...she sent the most PERFECT correspondence to him (I think anyway)...basically stating that she has been retained, my intention is for reconciliation and that she awaits his or his lawyers correspondence. (I think it’s brilliant because he wants to take NO responsibility for any of this). Meanwhile she has all of my organized documents and is fully aware of my “unique” situation and his potential beezare timeline. This was 2 weeks ago. NOTHING has happened ....no further contact. As of right now he too is off work so the last 2 weeks have been fully spent in the house together. I don’t even know what to say anymore about his behaviour. At times it seems so normal it makes me think I’m crazy and this is not MLC ...but then I did a bad thing the other day and yes I had a snoop!!! I’m not proud of it cause I haven’t done that in so long and of course it helps NOTHING! I now know he has added numerous EXPENSIVE dinners to his spending spree as well as a tattoo of some sort to go along with his bike!!!! I find he’s always whistling or kinda humming something and just generally seems very content and happy with life. I feel like there is ZERO reflection or thought happening on his end as he sits almost all day and watches movies or plays video games. As much as I’m off his roller coaster, being around this all day ... hurts. The behaviour is still very confusing. At times I’m completely ignored, then he’ll ask if I want wine or food. Just when you start to see a glimmer of “hmmm maybe at some point he could come out of this”, he reminds you that he’s still an alien with one sentence referring to you as his “ex-wife”!!!! Wtf... we don’t even have separation papers yet....easy tiger!
I’m finding it very difficult right now being isolated IN the house with him and being “a distant roommate”, especially when he’s popping up to talk about the virus or to tell me something about work. It’s too “comfortable” for him again and he fully sees me as someone he used to be married to.
ME: working a lot right now (prob till next week), talking on the phone a lot with friends and coworkers, cleaning, baking (Cardinal!!!!!), got out in th garden for an hour yesterday, but truthfully just generally feeling numb. Numb to everything that’s going on right now globally and personally.
Thx for reading, hope everyone is well.
Xo
Last edited by job; 03/26/2001:38 PM. Reason: added space between paragraphs
