I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 7

[KitCat]

As for the toothbrush, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!!! He "must" enter the house so he can retrieve a toothbrush? I'd be inclined to take some of the puppy's feces, put it on the porch and stick the toothbrush in it and tell him you left it on the porch, he can pick it up whenever

My H has NO idea what a wonderful woman he M. Certainly I've had thoughts of using that toothbrush all over the house but I could never bring myself to do something so low. He is freaking out that his stuff is here and unprotected... but seriously you've been gone more than you have been here since BD. I could have f'd it up anytime. So not who I am in the world.

Don't say things like that, that's a "I'm still your Plan B" statement. It's desperate. Stick to BUSINESS ONLY. Nothing else. If he asks how your day is, ignore it. Where's my money clip, ignore. WHY WON'T YOU RESPOND, ignore it. Bills? Reply in a businesslike tone. He has narcissistic tendencies and narcissists love to suck the energy out of people. They honestly don't care if it's positive or negative energy as long as they get something. Quit feeding your energy to him. Some doctors advise that you have to turn yourself into the most dull, boring person in the world to stop them. No positive energy, no negative energy.

I know. I realize that is ME trying to talk him into the relationship. And, that is pursuing. And I get that even as he said "you are probably right" he was most likely rolling his eyes.

Its hard. Its so hard to not to have that level of intimacy after 10yr. Its not like I want to ask where he is - frankly I have no idea. But checking in about work, family, etc. It really is so very hard.

I have to keep working on that.

I'm bracing that this will get ugly.

You might be surprised. I think you've been through the ugliest part. Once he realizes he can't browbeat you into submission he will more than likely stop it. I mean he might try a few more times but as long as you hold the line he will eventually give it up.

I'm not sure about that but I do get what you are saying. That he is going to try to NICE me back to being complacent. I need to pack up more of his stuff but it is so painful clearing out drawers.