4) After going dark for 2 months, I contact her asking if she'd like to go to dinner with me. She accepts, we have an amazing time at dinner, we go back to my place, and we end up talking for 4 hours and we ultimately have sex. She tells me she's no longer talking to OM, that she misses me, and that she's very sorry for everything.
5) A couple of days later, I reach out to her to ask if she'd like to have dinner again. She declines, apologizes for sending me mixed signals, and says that she had a lapse in judgment. I foolishly try to reason with her about why having another dinner would be a good idea, and I impulsively call and text her (exactly the opposite of what I'm supposed to do). She, of course, maintains her cold and distant stance, and refuses to see me again.
I know I ruined it. I should not have pursued after the dinner. My question is: NOW WHAT? Is there any way to salvage this? I was so close.
No, you still haven't figured it out. You didn't ruin it b/c you pursued after the dinner. You ruined it when you called the first time to ask her out to dinner. That is pursuit. Two months of darkness wasted. What made you think it was fine to call her for no reason and ask her out? Nothing has changed for her, or she would have been chasing you down, begging you to take her back.
I'm sorry to tell you that when #4 happens.........then the outcome of #5 is classic. But, if you don't learn your REAL mistake and WHEN you made it, then you probably repeat it and have the same outcome. You NEVER pursue a wife who has chosen another guy over you! You NEVER beg & plead with a WW!
What next? Well, you go dark and wait till hell freezes over before you initiate anymore contact with her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
